By GPS
Have you ever pondered the meaning of reality? What restricts your reality from being better than the reality of another? I'm going to attempt to share my reality with you.
My reality is a reality of suffering, at my own hands. I had a tough time growing up, as most people do, perhaps a little more in some ways. But that's not what is important. The important part is how I interpreted and reacted to my situation.
We are all suffering from our own hands, and thoughts, and feelings. The people that hurt us have often moved on, without regret. You can pray for miracles, for vengeance and you won't usually find it.
The desire to avoid such situations in the future, and a means to survive such future incidents is often what motivates us to think of old situations. Why? I believe that negative influences have a great effect on our long term ability to survive, and we seek to surround ourselves with positive people, or people we think are better for us.
How does this explain the women that marry abusers, that in many cases were abused themselves? I believe that such beings are trying to experience life, and understand why some things occur, in order to better themselves. Some of them tragically never understand, and the men that beat them never learn that they are victims of themselves and their reality.
Often beings get stuck, believing they are unworthy of better treatment. This results in passing over choices that would have been better for the being.
People aren't robots, but with some people their reality is as limiting as if they were robots.
Imagine a puppy. A puppy that is greeted by his new master in public, and showered with joy. He is a good puppy but has the typical problems. His evil master decides to beat the puppy for being a puppy that makes messes amongst other things.
The puppy in the future will avoid future happy people in public, and fear the hands of those that are larger and more powerful, and believe he can't do any better perhaps. If that's all he's known, why should he expect any better.
Are you the puppy? Ask yourself how you can relate to that puppy in your current reality.
We need a connection to an outside source, for information and guidance at times. Some connect with God for change, to see themselves as part of something greater. Others turn to psychiatrists, and come to see themselves as more powerful, we hope. Each of us must depend on each other. The structure of this world is such that we must trust others, in order to survive.
Why do some people not want to survive? Why do they want to suicide? I believe this is a pattern in me that started from seeing limited choices, from believing that life should be miserable, and never would be any better. I didn't see the love and sharing as much as some people. I was focused on the negative aspects of life, for a good reason. I was as the puppy from earlier, trying to defend himself from good and evil, because potential good is potentially evil. Eventually the fight itself of potential evil I believe resulted in a realization deep in my mind that further living was hazardous to myself.
It doesn't have to make logical sense, because we aren't all logical beings.
Depression is the end result of such deep contradictions in the self. It drains you, as your thoughts are on the negative patterns, seeking change, seeking to understand. This is often when you need input from others, to overcome these negative patterns.
A primitive part of your mind is screaming out for survival, while another may be screaming out for stopping the pain that hurts your survival.
One lamentation I have is that people don't ask why often enough. The answers to deep problems are often within each being, though often masked.
Consider this chain of thoughts:
Q. Why don't you steal from stores?
A. It is wrong.
That seems straightforward to some, but it's not the deepest root.
Q. Why don't you steal from stores?
A. It hurts the people that I steal from, and others indirectly. It leads to mistrust of others, and potentially the hurt of others. By causing that ripple effect in society I am actually hurting myself.
The 2nd answer resulted from many why questions. Notice how it gets closer to the root. For a non-visual person it may be more difficult to visualize the effect their actions have on society, and themselves.
The very act of writing this document is my attempt to save myself, and thereby others.