YOU MIGHT BE A MORMON IF...
1. ..you have ever used the phrase=20 "With every fiber of my being."
2. ..you've ever used the = phrase=20 "bless those who aren't here this
time that they can be here = next=20 time."
3. ..you've ever used the above phrase while offering a = prayer at=20 a
state prison, youth detention facility or other place of = confinement.
4.=20 ..you think "ignorant" means rude.
5. ..you think the word = ignorant=20 is pronounced "ignernt"
6. ..you think BYU's holiday bowl = victory=20 over SMU in 1980 is proof
that the church is true.
7. ..you still = talk=20 about the holiday bowl victory of 1980 and you
still consider Steve = Young a=20 Utah native even though he was born and
raised in Connecticut.
8. = ..for=20 some reason you couldn't raise your children in Utah, = then
Connecticut would=20 be your second choice.
9. ..you've ever used the words: fetch, flip, = scrud,=20 or oh-my-heck.
10. ..you ever apologized for using such = language.
11.=20 ..you've ever used your temple recommend as a check = protection
card.
12.=20 ...you hide your recommend in the back of your wallet when you
shop = on=20 Sunday.
13. ..you shop on Sunday and then you post date the = check.
14.=20 ..you've ever mixed Jell-O with any kind of meat.
15. ..you like = Jell-O mixed=20 with any kind of meat.
16. ...you think red punch and green Jell-O = are the=20 main ingredients
for a successful party.
17. ..your kids think = Jell-O is a=20 major food group.
18. ..you have your order in for volume 25 of = "The=20 Work and The Glory."
19. ..you use the dust jacket from = "The Work=20 and The Glory" so you can
read romance novels in public.
20. = ..you've=20 ever quoted "The Work and The Glory" in a talk or a = lesson.
21.=20 ...you feel that "The Work and The Glory" would be better if=20 it
took place in Connecticut and the hero's name was Steve.
22. = ...you can=20 come up with at least 10 good excuses as to why Steve
Young isn't=20 married.
23. ..you believe any of those excuses.
24. ..you're = planning to=20 read this list during Family Home Evening.
25. ...while giving a = presentation=20 in a public place such as a board
meeting, you have ever = inadvertently ended=20 with, "in the name of ..."
26. ..you've ever ended your=20 presentation with those words deliberately.
27. ...all your children = are=20 named after Old Testament Prophets. Even
your daughter = Zerubbabel.
28.=20 ..you ran out of Old Testament names before you ran out of = children.
29.=20 ...you were shocked to find out that the 24th of July was not = a
national=20 holiday.
30. ..you refer to the days of '47 parade royalty as = "The queen=20 and
her two counselors."
31. ..at least one member of your = family has=20 a pseudo-French name such
as LaVell, LaDell, or Bidet.
32. ..you = have any=20 relatives named LaDell, LaVelle, LaDawn, or LaVerle
(how about=20 LaDurl?)
33. ..your mother-in-law was pregnant at your = wedding.
34.=20 ..you're father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.
35. ...a = member of=20 your family wrote in Lavelle Edwards for President
in the last=20 election.
36. ..you have ever inadvertently addressed your boss or = co-workers=20 as
Brother or Sister.
37. ..all your dishes have your name written = on=20 masking tape.
38. ..at least two of your salad bowls are at = neighbors'=20 houses.
39. ...you have something stuck to your refrigerator for = every =20 time
you have attended Relief Society or Homemaking.
40. ...you = have geese=20 or cow decorations anywhere in your kitchen.
41. ..you think toys are = a=20 normal part of any landscaping.
42. ..you've ever refused a coke, = although=20 it's 105 degrees outside.
43. ..you bring a cola home from the store = in a=20 brown paper bag. .
44. ..you know a 300 lb woman who doesn't = drink coke=20 because it may
cause her to be unhealthy.
45. ..you have ever = blessed=20 cake, cookies or donuts saying, "Please
bless this food that it = will=20 nourish and strengthen our bodies."
46. ...you consider = "dam"=20 a swear word.
47. ..your family considers a trip to McDonald's a = night=20 out.
48. ..you believe you have to be 18 to order coffee in a = cafe.
49.=20 ..you think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.
50. ..you met = your=20 spouse at the "Y" or on your "Mission."
51. = ..your=20 children believe that deer hunting is a national holiday.
52. ..you = negotiate=20 prices at a garage sale.
53. ..when you pick someone up at the = airport, you=20 bring at least 1/3
of your relatives and have a family reunion at the = gate.
54. ...you have a "Quiet Book" as part of your=20 library.
55. ...you are embarrassed if any of your children are more = than=20 two
years apart in age.
56. ..you keep a supply of butcher paper = on hand=20 to make large
"Welcome Home" banners.
57. ..you have = more food=20 in storage than clothes in your closet.
58. ...you ever made a major = purchase=20 at D.I (couches,appliances,
electronics, furniture, prom dresses,=20 etc.)
59. ..you shop for wedding gifts at D.I.
60. ..your family = takes=20 Mormon Tequila to family reunions.
(Ingredients of Mormon Tequila: = kool-aid=20 with a gummi worm in the
bottom.)
And, you might be a Mormon = if...
61.=20 ..you spend more time at church than at home on=20 Sundays.