Since ancient times "KNOW THYSELF" has been good advise. Understanding is the first step to accepting ourselves for who we are, and appreciating our personal strengths. Understanding and keeping Priority in balance, understanding our personal lifestyles, gives us courage to take action instead of being bound to reaction. It is the path to living as emotionally and mentally healthy individuals, able to extend ourselves to others.

The 4 priorities are: Comfort, Acceptance, Refinement,Significance

There is always a First Priority, a core style that underlines our behaviors. It is the Modus Vivendi, the way we are. It is a statement about our convictions and the way we view the world. It answers the question "What is most important to me in my quest for purpose and belonging?" and "Which feeling do I urgently avoid?"

Individuals who are unaccustomed to acknowledging and listening to their feeling may find is difficult to determine their First Priorty. Also,because we frequently use another priority as our Modus Operandi, our method of working or operating, we may see ourselves as having more that one First Priority, or we may identify a secondary priority as our first.

Even if it were possible, there is no advantage in trying to change one's First Priority. No one priority is better than the others. Each priority has its assets and also it obstacles. The assets and strengths are what we manifest on the outside when we are centered and feeling love and courage on the inside. When we are out of balance and trying to escape the feelings the we fear, we manifest the obstacles and weaknesses for our personal style. Those negative behaviors will often create the very thing we fear.

Only when we can fully accept who we are can we begin to fine joy in the diversity within ourselves and between ourselves and others. Knowing how to support another person in thier Priority adn understanding how others percieve us because of our Priority will help us CREATE TRUE COMMUNITY.

For those who are in leadership positions. There is a need to be aware of their personal Leadership Lifestyle and how they and their co-workers' perceive themselves and the lifestyles. The result will be improved communication and a more moviated employee.

Look to the chart below and fined your own First Priority and your own Lifestyle.

Personality Priorities - Leadership Lifestyles

Seeks	COMFORT	ACCEPTANCE	REFINEMENT	SIGNIFICANCE
Tries To:	Be comfortable(whatever comfort means to him/her) Remain undisturbed, calm. Some seek pleasure or act like a spoiled brat.	Pleases others, be accepted, Make others happy, Be noticed, Seek approval, Some evoke pity.	Appear perfect, Do things right. Control self, others, & situations, artful dodger. Some are tyrants, some are manipulative.	Be better than others, Be more competent, more good, more usefull. Suffer more nobly-- "victim" or "martyr"
Assets:	Easy going,few demands, Minds own business, Peacemaker, Diplomat, Empathic, Mellow, Contented, Adaptable.	Friendly, Considerate, Non-agressive, Compromises, Playful, Likely to volunteer, People-oriented	Leadership qualities, Organized, Productive, Persistent, Thorough, Law adiding, Assertive, Analytical	Knowledgeable, Idealistic, Precise, High achiever, Takes charge, Decisive, High level of "social interest"
Obstacles:	Unenthusiatic,Worried, Avoids responsibility Indecisive, Unmotivated	Exaggerates, Repetitious, Impulsive, Permissive, Overdramatic, Naive	Rigid, Overcautious, Procrastinates, Indecisive, Detail bound, Depression	Lacks patience, quick- tempered,Tactless, Impetuous, Demanding
Pays Price: Feels and/or Compains of:	Low productivity, Not using talents, Agitated, Out-of- touch, Undisciplined, Indifferent.	Lacks respect for self, Reduced growth,Alienation, Discrepancy between ideal self and self appraisal.	Lack of friends & closeness, Uptight--tense, Diminished creativity, Over responsible No spontaneity	Overload, Lack of time, Uncertain of relationships with others, Guilt, Over- burdened, Overworked
Reaction of Others:	Feel irriated Annoyance Boredom	Pleased at first: "He's a nice person" Later, feel exasperation at demand for approval	Feel challenged Feel tension Feel resistance Frustrated	Feel inadequate/can't measure up Feelings of inferiority/guilt Feel intimidated
Fears/Ties To Avoid:	Stress, Pain, Expectations, Feeling she can never measure up, Feeling overwhelmed Being cornered	Feeling left out, Rejection, Conflict, Feeling unlovable, "Rocking the boat"	Humiliation, Embarrassment, Others seeing their flaws, Feeling powerless, Risk The unexpected, Ridicule	Meaninglessness in life and its tasks' Feeling worthless, Being unnecessary
May Stem From: early childhood	Discomfort Pampering	Feeling abandoned Battered child	Tight controls Being overpowered	Shaming Perfectionism

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