THE MAN WHO HUNTS AND DOESN'T LIKE IT.
It seems to be odd, at first sight, that there should be any such men as these; but their
name and number is legion. If we were to deduct from the hunting-crowd farmers, and
others who hunt because hunting is brought to their door, of the remainder we should
find that the "men who don't like it " have the preponderance. It is pretty much the
same, I think, with all amusements. How many men go to balls, to races, to the theatre,
how many women to concerts and races, simply because it is the thing to do? They
have perhaps, a vague idea that they may ultimately find some joy in the pastime; but,
though they do the thing constantly, they never like it. Of all such men, the hunting men
are perhaps the most to be pitied.
They are easily recognized by any one who cares to scrutinize the men around him in
the hunting field. It is not to be supposed that all those who, in common parlance, do
not ride, are to be included among the number of hunting men who don't like it. Many a
man who sticks constantly to the roads and lines of gates,--who, from principle, never
looks at a fence, is much attached to hunting. Some of those who have borne great
names as Nimrods in our hunting annals would as life have led a forlorn-hope as put a
horse at a flight of hurdles. But they, too, are known; and though the nature of their
delight is a mystery to straight-going men, it is manifest enough, that they do like it.
Their theory of hunting is at any rate plain. They have an acknowledged system, and
know what they are doing. But the men who don't like it, have no system, and never
know distinctly what is their own aim. During some portion of their career they
commonly try to ride hard, and sometimes for a while they will succeed. In short spurts,
while the cherry-brandy prevails, they often have small successes; but even with the
assistance of a spur in the head they never like it.
Dear old John Leech! What an eye he had for the man who hunts and doesn't like it !
But for such, as a pictorial chronicler of the hunting field he would have had no fame.
Briggs, I fancy, in his way did like it. Briggs was a full-blooded, up-apt, awkward,
sanguine man, who was able to like anything, from gin and water upwards. But with
how many a wretched companion of Briggs' are we not familiar? men as to whom any
girl of eighteen would swear from the form of his visage and the carriage of his legs as
he sits on his horse that he was seeking honour where honour was not to be found, and
looking for pleasure in places where no pleasure lay for him.
But the man who hunts and doesn't like it, has his moments of gratification, and finds a
source of pride in his penance. In the summer, hunting does much for him. He does not
usually take much personal care of his horses, as he is probably a town man and his
horses are summered by a keeper of hunting stables; but he talks of them. He talks of
them freely, and the keeper of the hunting stables is occasionally forced to write to him.
And he can run down to look at his nags, and spend a few hours eating bad mutton
chops, walking about the yards and paddocks, and, bleeding halfcrowns through the
nose. In all this there is a delight which offers some compensation for his winter misery
to our friend who hunts and doesn't like it.
He finds it pleasant to talk of his horses especially to young women, with whom,
perhaps, the ascertained fact of his winter employment does give him some credit. It is
still something to be a hunting man even yet, though the multiplicity of railways and the
existing plethora of money has so increased the number of sportsmen, that to keep a
nag or two near some well-known station, is nearly as common as to die. But the
delight of these martyrs is at the highest in the presence of their tailors; or, higher still,
perhaps, in that of their bootmakers. The hunting man does receive some honour from
him who makes his breeches; and, with a well-balanced sense of justice, the tailor's
foreman is, I think, more patient, more admiring, more demonstrative in his assurances,
more ready with his bit of chalk, when handling the knee of the man who doesn't like
the work, than he ever is with the customer who comes to him simply because he wants
some clothes fit for the saddle. The judicious conciliating tradesman knows that
compensation should be given, and he helps to give it. But the visits to the bootmaker
are better still. The tailor persists in telling his customer how his breeches should be
made, and after what fashion they should be worn; but the bootmaker will take his
orders meekly. If not ruffled by paltry objections as to the fit of the foot, he will accede
to any amount of instructions as to the legs and tops. And then a new pair of top boots
is a pretty toy; Costly, perhaps, if needed only as a toy, but very pretty, and more
decorative in a gentleman's dressing-room than any other kind of garment. And top
boots, when multiplied in such a locality,--when seen in a phalanx --tell such pleasant
lies on their owner's behalf. While your breeches are as dumb in their retirement as
though you had not paid for them, your conspicuous boots are eloquent with a
thousand tongues! There is pleasure found, no doubt, in this.
As the season draws nigh the delights become vague, and still more vague; but,
nevertheless, there are delights. Getting up at six o'clock in November to go down to
Bletchley by an early train is not in itself pleasant, but on the opening morning,--on the
few first opening mornings,--there is a promise about the thing which invigorates and
encourages the early riser. He means to like it this year--if he can. He has still some
undefined notion that his period of pleasure will now come. He has not, as yet,
accepted the adverse verdict which his own nature has given against him in this matter
of hunting, and he gets into his early tub with acme glow of satisfaction. And afterwards
it is nice to find himself bright with mahogany tops, buff-tinted breeches, and a pink
coat. The ordinary habiliments of an English gentleman are so sombre that his own eye
is gratified, and he feels that he has placed himself in the vanguard of society by thus
shining in his apparel. And he will ride this year! He is fixed to that purpose. He will ride
straight;--and, if possible, he will like it.
But the Ethiop cannot change his skin, nor can any man add a cubit to his stature. He
doesn't like it, and all around him in the field know how it is with him; he himself knows
how it is with others like himself, and he congregates with his brethren. The period of
his penance has come upon him. He has to pay the price of those pleasant interviews
with his tradesmen. He has to expiate the false boasts made to his female cousins.
That row of boots cannot be made to shine in his chamber for nothing. The hounds
have found, and the fox is away. Men are fastening on their flat-topped hats and feeling
themselves in their stirrups. Horses are hot for the run, and the moment for liking it has
come,--if only it were possible!
But at moments such as these something has to be done. The man who doesn't like it,
let him dislike it ever so much, Cannot check his horse and simply ride back to the
hunting stables. He understands that were he to do that, he must throw up his cap at
once and resign. Nor can he trot easily along the roads with the fat old country
gentleman who is out on his rough cob, and who, looking up to the wind and
remembering the position of adjacent coverts, will give a good guess as to the direction
in which the field will move. No; he must make an effort. The time of his penance has
come, and the penance must be borne. There is a spark of pluck about him, though
unfortunately he has brought it to bear in a wrong direction. The blood still runs at his
heart, and he resolves that he will ride,--if only he could tell which way.
The stout gentleman on the cob has taken the road to the left with a few companions;
but our friend knows that the stout gentleman has a little game of his own which will not
be suitable for one who intends to ride. Then the crowd in front has divided itself.
Those to the right rush down a hill towards a brook with a ford. One or two,--men
whom he hates with an intensity of envy,--have jumped the brook, and have settled to
their work. Twenty or thirty others are hustling themselves through the water. The time
for a judicious start on that side is already gone. But others,--a crowd of others,--are
facing the big ploughed field immediately before them. That is the straightest riding,
and with them he goes. Why has the scent lain so hot over the up-turned heavy
ground? Why do they go so fast at this the very first blush of the morning ? Fortune is
always against him, and the horse is pulling him through the mud as though the brute
meant to drag his arm out of the socket. At the first fence, as he is steadying himself, a
butcher passes him roughly in the jump and nearly takes away the side of his top boot.
He is knocked half out of his saddle, and in that condition scrambles through. When he
has regained his equilibrium he sees the happy butcher going into the field beyond. He
means to curse the butcher when he catches him, but the butcher is safe. A field and a
half before him he still sees the tail hounds, and renews his effort. He has meant to like
it to-day, and he will. So he rides at the next fence boldly, where the butcher has left his
mark, and does it pretty well,--with a slight struggle. Why is it that he can never get
over a ditch without some struggle in his saddle, some scramble with his horse? Why
does he curse the poor animal so constantly,--unless it be that he cannot catch the
butcher? Now he rushes at a gate which others have opened for him, but rushes too
late and catches his leg. Mad with pain, he nearly gives it up, but the spark of pluck is
still there, and with throbbing knee he perseveres. How he hates it! It is all detestable
now. He cannot hold his horse because of his gloves, and he cannot get them off. The
sympathetic beast knows that his master is unhappy, and makes himself unhappy and
troublesome in consequence. Our friend is still going, riding wildly, but still keeping a
grain of caution for his fences. He has not been down yet, but has barely saved himself
more than once. The ploughs are very deep, and his horse, though still boring at him,
pants heavily. Oh, that there might come a check, or that the brute of a fox might
happily go to ground ! But no! The ruck of the hunt is far away from him in front, and
the game is running steadily straight for some well known though still distant protection.
But the man who doesn't like it still sees a red coat before him, and perseveres in
chasing the wearer of it. The solitary red coat becomes distant, and still more distant
from him, but he goes on while he can yet keep the line in which that red coat has
ridden. He must hurry himself, however, or he will be lost to humanity, and will be
alone. He must hurry himself, but his horse now desires to hurry no more. So he puts
his spurs to the brute savagely, and then at some little fence, some ignoble ditch, they
come down together in the mud, and the question of any further effort is saved for the
rider. When he arises the red coat is out of sight, and his own horse is half across the
field before him. In such a position, is it possible that a man should like it ?
About four o'clock in the afternoon, when the other men are coming in, he turns up at the hunting stables, and nobody asks him any questions. He may have been doing fairly well for what anybody knows, and, as he says nothing of himself, his disgrace is at any rate hidden. Why should he tell that he had been nearly an hour on foot trying to catch his horse, that he had sat himself down on a bank and almost cried, and that he had drained his flask to the last drop before one o'clock ? No one need know the extent of his miseries. And no one does know how great is the misery endured by those who hunt regularly, and who do not like it.