Miss Becky's Blog

Ken's Reflections on Life & Death

This is a letter that Ken/Smiley wrote to our family following his heart attack, which he likes to call his "cardiac event" which occurred on May 4, 2006. He talks about a time when our daughter Amy was involved in a car accident and Jason was very seriously injured in a car/motorcycle accident. Our daughter-in-law Missy also is mentioned. She had several medical procedures to correct a heart problem before it was finally corrected. I'm sending this letter so you can see how Ken feels about Life and Death...

My Dear Family,

Thanks to each of you for your love, support and concern the past few days.

In addition to this wonderful family, the support of many friends and medical people was over-whelming! I'm not at all surprised but it's still humbling. I haven't learned how to accept love and support without emotional feelings.

I want to express to you some thoughts I had Sunday night (when he had the heart event), which really were not new but I actually put them into action when this experience arrived.

For many years Becky and I have discussed these type of adversities. Until 1995, actually eleven years ago May 4-5, when Amy and Jason became the first serious adversity we'd faced, Becky and I would warn ourselves that our "smooth sailing" wouldn't last forever. Of course, Jason holds the trophy for the "most serious" trauma we've faced. Nothing else that's crossed our path holds a candle to that sad experience. However, just as in my "cardiac event" it was excellent medical people who performed their "duty" and Jason made a great recovery from a most serious situation.

We held our breath until Missy was correctly patched.

For me personally, I have taken the attitude for many years that I've been allowed far more of the wonderful things of life than I ever expected or deserved and I'm daily grateful to Heavenly Father for allowing me all these things. Which, interpreted means, "I respect that The Lord giveth and The Lord taketh away." If The Lord had taken me Sunday night, so be it. I have no concerns about that. I invite you to consider a similar attitude.

Becky and I both desire that if anyone has to be taken from our family, "Please, Lord, let it be one or both of us." Having said this, I encourage each of you to "look inside" and see if you are "prepared" for a serious adversity. I firmly believe we owe it to ourselves and those around us to "take a stand." I don't expect anyone to follow my/our approach but I don't hesitate to suggest to you that you must face the fact that we have no control over the exit of anyone of us. I respect that as stated above.

It will always be my attitude to "celebrate the life" of one who exits. I will not ask "why?"... I will not be "knocked out" by it... I'm not "copping out"... I firmly believe that I'm accepting "the way it is." I will celebrate that life, old or young, and give thanks to Heavenly Father for the time we spent together.

Of course I/we have no control over this so you might think, "your attitude is simple, it's a way of managing the sadness." I feel my attitude is based on a grateful heart. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't feel helpless... I feel empowered.

My sincere request is that each of us do what we know will allow us a healthy and extended life... there are no secrets about how to do that now... it's a choice. Let's be together on this earth as long as possible... if the exit is earlier, so be it. Celebrate the life.

Sincerely and with love to each,

Dad/Pappy/Ken

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From Becky: It was just two months after my mother had passed away that Ken had this "cardiac event". I was in Provo (over two hours away from Logan) taking care of my Father that Sunday. Our son, Jason, took Ken to the hospital and then called me to tell me what was happening. They had to "fly" Ken to Ogden where there were the medical resources to help him -- it was in the middle of the night. I arranged for my brother to take care of my Father and after a prayer with my Dad, I drove as fast as I could to Ogden to be with Ken. Of course, I was praying all the way. My son had assured me that it did not seem too serious, but I was still praying. Then the comforting feeling of my Mother's presence came over me, assuring me that Ken would be alright and that she would look out for him until I could get there -- I also felt her "thanks" for taking care of her husband, my Father. I truly believe that it was God's will that Ken live longer -- there are still things that the Lord wants him to accomplish.