Miss Becky's Blog

WITH A SMILE . . .

This song has a very special message. It was written by Neville Peter and performed by Gladys Knight, one of my favorite people!!

WITH A SMILE you can show the world you care -- With a smile you’ll inspire the world to share -- If you show the world a smiling face, It will come back to you. You don’t need to be crying, So good to see you trying WITH A SMILE.

The biggest problems seem so small -- WITH A SMILE you will rise above them all. Oh, it shouldn’t be so hard to display the Love of God. I know that we can do it WITH A SMILE.

Oh a SMILE can turn Grief to laughter. A SMILE can turn Hate to love. It can make a bleeding heart Forget the pain. It can drive the blues away, Turn the night into day. You can do all these things WITH A SMILE.

You can weather any storm -- When it’s cold you’ll be able to stay warm. I’ve got one more thing to say: Don’t let them take Your SMILE away -- ‘Cause what I said is true. All these things a smile can do. You’ll just have to try -- I know you’ll see -- Take it from me

You can do all these things, You can do all these things, You can do all these things WITH A SMILE, WITH A SMILE!!!!

YOU CAN STOP NORMAL AGING

This article, YOU CAN STOP “NORMAL” AGING – by Dr. Henry S. Lodge, shows the importance of EXERCISE & LOVE to the health of individual cells of your body!

Form your body’s point of view, “normal” aging isn’t normal at all. It’s a choice you make by the way you live your life. The other choice is to tell your cells to grow – to build a strong, vibrant body and mind.

Let’s have a look at standard American aging. Barbara D. had a baby when she was 34, gave up exercise and gained 50 pounds. Exhausted and depressed, Barbara thought youth, energy and optimism were all in her rearview mirror. Jon M., 55, had fallen even farther down the slippery slope. He was stuck in the corporate world of stress, long hours and doughnuts. At 255 pounds, he had knees that hurt and a back that ached. He developed high blood pressure and eventually diabetes. Life was looking grim.

Jon and Barbara weren’t getting old; they had let their bodies decay. Most aging is just the dry rot we program into our cells by sedentary living, junk food and stress. Yes, we do have to get old, and ultimately we do have to die. But out bodies are designed to age slowly and remarkably well. Most of what we see and fear is decay, and decay is only one choice. Growth is the other.

After two years of misery, Barbara started exercising and is now in the best shape of her life. She just finished a sprint triathlon and, at 37, feels like she is 20. Jon started eating better and exercising too – slowly at first, but he stuck with it. He has since lost 50 pounds, the pain in his knees and back has disappeared, and his diabetes is gone. Today, Jon is 60 and living his life in the body of a healthy 30-year-old. He will die one day, but he is likely to live like a young man until he gets there.

The hard reality of our biology is that we are built to move. Exercise is the master signaling system that tells our cells to grow instead of fade. When we exercise, that process of growth spreads throughout every cell in our bodies, making us functionally younger. Not a little bit younger – a lot younger. True biological aging is a surprisingly slow and graceful process. You can live out your life in a powerful, healthy body if you are willing to put in the work.

Let’s take a step back to see how exercise works at the cellular level. Your body is made up of trillions of cells that live mostly for a few weeks or months, die and are replaced by new cells in an endless cycle. For example, your taste buds live only a few hours, white blood cells live 10 days, and your muscle cells live about three months. Even your bones dissolve and are replaced, over and over again. A few key stem cells in each organ and your brain cells are the only ones that stick around for the duration. All of your other cells are in a constant state of renewal.

You replace about 1% of your cells every day. That means 1% of your body is brand-new today, and you will get another 1% tomorrow. Think of it as getting a whole new body every three months. It’s not entirely accurate, but it’s pretty close. Viewed that way, you are walking around in a body that is brand-new since Christmas (article appeared in March 2007) new lungs, new liver, new muscles, new skin. Look down at your legs and realize that you are going to have new ones by the Fourth of July. Whether that body is functionally younger or older is a choice you make by how you live.

You choose whether those new cells come in stronger or weaker. You choose whether they grow or decay each day from then on. Your cells don’t care which choice you make. They just follow the directions you send. Exercise, and your cells get stronger; sit down, and they decay.

Men like Jon, who go from sedentary to fit, cut their risk of dying from a heart attack by 75% over five years. Women cut their risk by 80% -- and heart attacks are the largest single killer of women. Both men and women can double their leg strength with three months of exercise, and most of us can double it again in another three months. This is true whether you’re in your 30% or your 90%. It’s not a miracle or a mystery. It’s your biology, and you’re in charge.

The other master signal to our cells—equal and, in some respects, even more important than exercise—is emotion. One of the most fascinating revelations of the last decade is that emotions change our cells through the same molecular pathways as exercise. Anger, stress and loneliness are signals for “starvation” and chronic danger. They “melt” our bodies as surely as sedentary living. Optimism, love and community trigger the process of growth, building our bodies, hearts and minds.

Men who have a heart attack and come home to a family are four times less likely to die of a second heart attack. Women battling heart disease or cancer do better in direct proportion to the number of close friends and relatives they have. Babies in the ICU who are touched more often are more likely to survive. Everywhere you look, you see the role of emotion/love in our biology. Like exercise, it’s a choice.

’s hard to exercise every day. And with our busy lives, it’s even harder to find the time and energy to maintain relationships and build communities. But it’s worth it when you consider the alternative. Go for a walk or a run, and think about it. Deep in our cells, down at the level of molecular genetics, we are wired to exercise and to care. We’re beginning to wake up to that as a nation, but you might not want to wait. You might want to join Barbara, Jon and millions of others and change your life. Start today. Your cells are listening.

Dr. Henry S. Lodge is on the faculty of Columbia Medical School and is co-author of “Younger Next Year”….

GROWING OLD ...

My sister, Sue, sent these quotes to Ken for his SEVENTY Birthday:

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative. -- Maurice Chevalier

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. -- George Burns

Don't worry about middle age: you'll outgrow it. -- Laurence J. Peter

They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much. --Malcolm Cowley

I look forward to being older, when what you look like becomnes less and less an issue and what you are is the point. -- Susan Sarandon

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? Satchell Paige

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

If you die in the elevator, be sure to push the UP button. -- Sam Levenson

THESE ARE MY FAVORITE . . .

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't. -- Richard Bach

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it. -- William James

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the SMILES have been. -- Mark Twain

Ken's Reflections on Life & Death

This is a letter that Ken/Smiley wrote to our family following his heart attack, which he likes to call his "cardiac event" which occurred on May 4, 2006. He talks about a time when our daughter Amy was involved in a car accident and Jason was very seriously injured in a car/motorcycle accident. Our daughter-in-law Missy also is mentioned. She had several medical procedures to correct a heart problem before it was finally corrected. I'm sending this letter so you can see how Ken feels about Life and Death...

My Dear Family,

Thanks to each of you for your love, support and concern the past few days.

In addition to this wonderful family, the support of many friends and medical people was over-whelming! I'm not at all surprised but it's still humbling. I haven't learned how to accept love and support without emotional feelings.

I want to express to you some thoughts I had Sunday night (when he had the heart event), which really were not new but I actually put them into action when this experience arrived.

For many years Becky and I have discussed these type of adversities. Until 1995, actually eleven years ago May 4-5, when Amy and Jason became the first serious adversity we'd faced, Becky and I would warn ourselves that our "smooth sailing" wouldn't last forever. Of course, Jason holds the trophy for the "most serious" trauma we've faced. Nothing else that's crossed our path holds a candle to that sad experience. However, just as in my "cardiac event" it was excellent medical people who performed their "duty" and Jason made a great recovery from a most serious situation.

We held our breath until Missy was correctly patched.

For me personally, I have taken the attitude for many years that I've been allowed far more of the wonderful things of life than I ever expected or deserved and I'm daily grateful to Heavenly Father for allowing me all these things. Which, interpreted means, "I respect that The Lord giveth and The Lord taketh away." If The Lord had taken me Sunday night, so be it. I have no concerns about that. I invite you to consider a similar attitude.

Becky and I both desire that if anyone has to be taken from our family, "Please, Lord, let it be one or both of us." Having said this, I encourage each of you to "look inside" and see if you are "prepared" for a serious adversity. I firmly believe we owe it to ourselves and those around us to "take a stand." I don't expect anyone to follow my/our approach but I don't hesitate to suggest to you that you must face the fact that we have no control over the exit of anyone of us. I respect that as stated above.

It will always be my attitude to "celebrate the life" of one who exits. I will not ask "why?"... I will not be "knocked out" by it... I'm not "copping out"... I firmly believe that I'm accepting "the way it is." I will celebrate that life, old or young, and give thanks to Heavenly Father for the time we spent together.

Of course I/we have no control over this so you might think, "your attitude is simple, it's a way of managing the sadness." I feel my attitude is based on a grateful heart. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't feel helpless... I feel empowered.

My sincere request is that each of us do what we know will allow us a healthy and extended life... there are no secrets about how to do that now... it's a choice. Let's be together on this earth as long as possible... if the exit is earlier, so be it. Celebrate the life.

Sincerely and with love to each,

Dad/Pappy/Ken

****************

From Becky: It was just two months after my mother had passed away that Ken had this "cardiac event". I was in Provo (over two hours away from Logan) taking care of my Father that Sunday. Our son, Jason, took Ken to the hospital and then called me to tell me what was happening. They had to "fly" Ken to Ogden where there were the medical resources to help him -- it was in the middle of the night. I arranged for my brother to take care of my Father and after a prayer with my Dad, I drove as fast as I could to Ogden to be with Ken. Of course, I was praying all the way. My son had assured me that it did not seem too serious, but I was still praying. Then the comforting feeling of my Mother's presence came over me, assuring me that Ken would be alright and that she would look out for him until I could get there -- I also felt her "thanks" for taking care of her husband, my Father. I truly believe that it was God's will that Ken live longer -- there are still things that the Lord wants him to accomplish.

I Love You ....

Love needs to be EXPRESSED, especially in marriage relationships.

From the newspaper this articles comes from Tokyo:

Aging Japanese husbands struggle to breathe life back into their marriages:

Mitsutoshi Fukatsu has been with his wife for three decades, but their lives have grown apart. As a busy stationmaster in central Japan, he has usually come home only to eat, bathe and sleep.

Now with retirement looming, the 56-year-old wants to get to know his wife better. He started calling her by her name, Setsuko, instead of just grunting. And he says he recently learned a new phrase: "I Love You."

Fukatsu is among a small but growing group of men who took part in Japan's second annual "Beloved Wives Day" last week in hopes of salvaging their marriages by doing something different -- paying attention to their wives.

"For about a year now, I've been starting to help out with the housework," Fukatsu said. "I can't stay at my company forever. I have to return home. But right now, I don't feel like I have a place there."

Last year, the Japan Adoring Husbands Association set itself up and designated January 31 as a day for men to return home at the unusually early hour of 8 p.m., look into their wives' eyes and say, "Thank you."

The movement is small--about 230 people posted messages on the group's Web page about this year's event. But it represents quite a change for a generation of Japanese men taught to care about their companies first and their wives a distant second.

Among the forces driving the change are demographics and money. This year, the first postwar baby boomers will reach 60 and retire, meaning an unprecedented number of men will have to abandon their home-away-from-home -- the all-consuming office -- and spend more time with their wives.

Meanwhile, an impending law change gives a housewife a bigger share of her husband's pension, which could trigger a surge in divorces as long-neglected women take the money and run. (Japan's divorce rate is relatively low but the numjer has increased more than 60% from 1985 to 2005. Divorce among those married for more than 20 years has grown the fastest, nearly doubling since 1985, with separation more likely to be initiated by women. That leaves their ex-husbands to face a lonely old age in a country where the average malelifespan is over 78, one of the world's longest.

Sadao Ito, 67, wishes he had been more sensitive to his wife's feelings. She left him seven years ago, just as he was facing retirement from a busy office job in the northern city of Sendai. Even the couple's daughter and two sons blame him for the breakup, Ito said.

"My wife took care of me so well. She made me breakfast every day, and did all the housework. But I never did anything in return," he said. Ito now acts as a volunteer advisor to the Adoring Husbands Association.

"Repent, repent, repent. That what I do every day," Ito said. "My wife didn't take a single family album with her. I realized then that I had driven her away."

Tsumagoi is marketing itself as a romantic destination for married couples. Last year, it invited couples to an event called "Shout Your Love from the Middle of a Cabbage Patch" -- where husbands took turns hollering romantic messages in Tsumagoi's wide open fields. About 100 people came.

That was where the stationmaster finally told his wife, "Aishiteru" (I love you) -- rehearsing it 20 times.

"I had never told Setsuko I love her -- not like that. But now I want to say it more often...It feels nice," he said.

The ART of LOVE

The story of love is an endless story and love as a force is an inexhaustible power.

The love story of the universe is written by the simple acts of millions of characters. The compassion of visiting a sick friend. The joy of playing on the floor with a small child. Doing an act of kindness for a person who is having a hard time. Remembering a birthday with a surprise. Reaching out to help someone in need. Making a sacrifice for a good cause.

The great love story is not fiction, but fact. It is a huge book full of the goodness of people loving people.

Native American (Indian) Marriage Blessing

May the fires of your love

Keep you happy and warm;

May the strength of your love

Keep you safe from all harm.

May the light of your love

Guide your pathways together.

May the joy of your love

Keep you happy forever.

How Did We Ever Make Progress ???

SO MUCH FOR THE EXPERTS

1. "Computers, in the future, may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."

-- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949.

2. "I think there is a world market for, maybe, five computers."

-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.

3. "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country,

and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that

data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."

-- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957.

4. "But what is it good for?"

-- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

5. "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."

-- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp.,1977.

6. "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication.

The device is, inherently, of no value."

-- Western Union internal memo, 1876.

7. "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"

-- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s

8. "The concept is interesting and well-formed. But, in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible."

-- A Yale Univ. management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service.

(Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

9. "Who wants to hear actors talk?"

-- H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927

10. "I'm just glad it will be Clark Gable who is falling on his face and not Gary Cooper."

-- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind".

11. "A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make."

-- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies -- a VERY successful business in America (Debbi Fields lives in Utah and I've met her.)

12. "We don't like their sound and guitar music is on the way out."

-- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

13. "You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact

of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training."

-- Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the "unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus, which is equipment that you can use to exercise ALL the muscles in the body.

14. "Stocks have reached what looks like a, permanently, high plateau."

-- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929

15." Airplanes are interesting toys, but of no military value."

-- Marecha Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.

16. "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."

-- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

17. "The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon."

-- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria, 1873.

and finally.......

18. "64K ought to be enough memory for anybody."

-- Bill Gates, 1981

THE REAL CHRISTMAS ...

The real Christmas comes to him who has taken Christ into his life as a moving, dynamic, vitalizing force.

Christmas is a busy season. Streets and stores are filled with people making last-minute preparations. Travelers on the highways increase, airports are crowded—all Christianity seems to come to life with music, lights, and festive decorations.

A writer has said:

“Of all holidays there is none that enters so fully into the human heart, and stirs so many of the higher sentiments. The thoughts, memories, hopes, and customs linked with it are bound by antiquity and nationality collectively; and by childhood and old age individually. They embrace the religious, social, and patriotic sides of our nature. The holly and mistletoe entwined among the evergreens, the habit of giving gifts to those we love, the presence of the Christmas tree, the superstition of Santa Claus, all combining to make Christmas the most longed-for, the most universal, and from every standpoint, the most important holiday known to man” [Clarence Baird, “The Spirit of Christmas,” Improvement Era, Dec. 1919, 154].

The Origin of Christmas

The season is steeped in tradition, and its roots stem back in history. The commencement of the holiday lies in pagan worship long before the introduction of Christianity. The god Mithra was worshiped by the ancient Aryans, and this worship gradually spread to India and Persia. Mithra at first was the god of the heavenly light of the bright skies and later in the Roman period was worshiped as the deity of the sun, or the sun god—Sol Invictus Mithra.

In the first century [before] Christ, Pompey carried on conquests along the southern coast of Cilicia, in Asia Minor, and many of the prisoners taken in those military actions were brought captive to Rome. This introduced the pagan worship of Mithra to Rome, for these prisoners spread the religion among the Roman soldiers. The worship became popular, particularly in the ranks of the Roman armies. We find today, in the ruins of the cities of the far-flung Roman Empire, the shrines of Mithra. Mithraism flourished in the Roman world and became the chief competitor of Christianity in the religious beliefs of the people.

A festive season for the worshipers of the sun god took place immediately after the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year—the time when the sun stands still after its annual dip into the Southern Hemisphere. The commencement of its climb from this low point was regarded as the rebirth of Mithra, and the Romans celebrated his birthday on the 25th of December each year. There was great merriment on this holiday—festivals and feastings, gifts given to friends, and the dwelling places decorated with evergreens.

Gradually Christianity gained a victory over Mithraism, which had been its strongest rival, and the festival day celebrating the birth of Mithra was used by the Christians to commemorate the birth of Christ. The pagan worship of the sun, deeply rooted in Roman culture, was replaced by one of the greatest festivals among Christians. Christmas has come down to us as a day of thanksgiving and rejoicing—a day of good cheer and goodwill to men. Although it has an earthly relation and significance, it is divine in content. The ancient Christian celebration has lived continuously through the centuries.

The Meaning of Christmas Today

How is Christmas regarded today? The legend of Santa Claus, the Christmas tree, the decorations of tinsel and mistletoe, and the giving of gifts all express to us the spirit of the day we celebrate; but the true spirit of Christmas lies much deeper than these. It is found in the life of the Savior, in the principles He taught, in His atoning sacrifice—which become our great heritage.

Many years ago the First Presidency of the Church made this significant statement:

“Christmas, to the Latter-day Saint, is both reminiscent and prophetic—a reminder of two great and solemn events, which will yet be regarded universally as the mightiest and most wonderful happenings in the history of the human race. These events were [foreordained] to take place upon this planet before it was created. One of them was the coming of the Savior in the meridian of time, to die for the sins of the world; and the other is the prospective advent of the risen and glorified Redeemer, to reign upon the earth as King of kings” [“What Christmas Suggests to a Latter-day Saint,” Millennial Star, Jan. 2, 1908, 1].

In Paul’s short letter to the Galatians, he showed great concern over their apparent disbelief and their forsaking of his teachings regarding Christ. He wrote to them: “But it is good to be zealously affected always in a good thing, and not only when I am present with you. My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you” (Gal. 4:18–19). In other words, Paul expressed himself as suffering pain and anxiety until Christ be “formed” in them. This is another way of saying “in Christ,” as that expression is used by Paul repeatedly in his writings.

It is possible for Christ to be born in men’s lives, and when such an experience actually happens, a man is “in Christ”—Christ is “formed” in him. This presupposes that we take Christ into our hearts and make Him the living contemporary of our lives. He is not just a general truth or a fact in history, but the Savior of men everywhere and at all times. When we strive to be Christlike, He is “formed” in us; if we open the door, He will enter; if we seek His counsel, He will counsel us. For Christ to be “formed” in us, we must have a belief in Him and in His Atonement. Such a belief in Christ and the keeping of His commandments are not restraints upon us. By these, men are set free. This Prince of Peace waits to give peace of mind, which may make each of us a channel of that peace.

The real Christmas comes to him who has taken Christ into his life as a moving, dynamic, vitalizing force. The real spirit of Christmas lies in the life and mission of the Master. I continue with what the writer defines as the real spirit of Christmas:

“It is a desire to sacrifice for others, to render service, and to possess a feeling of universal brotherhood. It consists of a willingness to forget what you have done for others, and to remember only what others have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you, and think only of … your duties in the middle distance, and your chance to do good and aid your fellow-men in the foreground—to see that your fellow-men are just as good as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts—to close your book of grievances against the universe, and look about you for a place to sow a few seeds of happiness and go your way unobserved” [Improvement Era, Dec. 1919, 155].

In his contemplation of the Christmas season, James Wallingford penned these lines:

Christmas is not a day or a season, but a condition of heart and mind.

If we love our neighbors as ourselves;

if in our riches we are poor in spirit and in our poverty we are rich in grace;

if our charity vaunteth not itself, but suffereth long and is kind;

if when our brother asks for a loaf, we give ourselves instead;if each day dawns in opportunity and sets in achievement, however small—

then every day is Christ’s day and Christmas is always near.

[In Charles L. Wallis, ed., Words of Life (1966), 33]

A wise man has said:

“The most amazing thing about the Christmas story is its relevance. It is at home in every age and fits into every mood of life. It is not simply a lovely tale once told, but eternally contemporary. It is the voice crying out in every wilderness. It is as meaningful in our time as in that long-ago night when shepherds followed the light of the star to the manger of Bethlehem” [Joseph R. Sizoo, in Words of Life, 33].

It has been said that Christmas is for children; but as the years of childhood fancy pass away and an understanding maturity takes their place, the simple teaching of the Savior that “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35) becomes a reality. The evolution from a pagan holiday transformed into a Christian festival to the birth of Christ in men’s lives is another form of maturity that comes to one who has been touched by the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Find the True Spirit of Christmas

If you desire to find the true spirit of Christmas and partake of the sweetness of it, let me make this suggestion to you. During the hurry of the festive occasion of this Christmas season, find time to turn your heart to God. Perhaps in the quiet hours, and in a quiet place, and on your knees—alone or with loved ones—give thanks for the good things that have come to you, and ask that His Spirit might dwell in you as you earnestly strive to serve Him and keep His commandments. He will take you by the hand and His promises will be kept.

I know that God lives. I bear witness of the divinity of His Son, the Savior of the world, and I express appreciation for the blessing of having upon the earth a prophet of the living God.

By President Howard W. Hunter (1907–95) Fourteenth President of the Church

Howard W. Hunter, “The Real Christmas,” Ensign, Dec. 2005, From a devotional address given at Brigham Young University on December 5, 1972.

T

LIVE IN THANKSGIVING DAILY . . .

.

Think for a moment of someone you know who is truly happy. We’ve all met people who seem to radiate happiness. They seem to smile more than others; they laugh more and just being around them makes us happier as well.

One quality that seems to be found in every happy person I know is the attitude of GRATITUDE. Gratitude is a mark of a person of good character. These kinds of people tend to brighten all around them. They make others feel better about themselves. They tend to be more humble, more joyful, more likable.

A great American Church leaders once said, “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love over-powers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life. Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to develop a thankful attitude toward God and man!”

I believe that many people are unhappy because they have not learned to be grateful. Some carry the burden of bitterness and resentfulness for many years. Some pass their days as though suffering a deep sadness they cannot name. Others are unhappy because life didn’t turn out the way they thought it would. If only we look around us, there are a thousand reasons for us not to be happy . . . if we focus on the things we don’t have, the more unhappy and more resentful we become.

However, one thing is for certain, happiness does not depend on the amount of money, fame, or power a person has. These outside conditions do not necessarily make a person happy. THOSE WHO LIVE WITH A GRATEFUL HEART ARE USUALLY AMONG THE WORLD’S HAPPIEST PEOPLE AND THEY MAKE OTHERS HAPPY AS WELL.

We develop a “grateful heart” by being “thankful” everyday for the good things in our lives. This habit will enrich our lives and the lives of those we love. Here are three suggestions to help us “Live in Thanksgiving Daily”:

OPEN YOUR EYES: Robert Louis Stevenson, who wrote, “The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life.”

“Our minds have a marvelous capacity to notice the unusual. However, the opposite is true as well: The more often we see the things around us—even the beautiful and wonderful things—the more they become invisible to us. That is why we often take for granted (“take for granted” is an idiom which means to ignore or not recognize) the beauty of this world: the flowers, the trees, the birds, the clouds and even the people we love. Because we see these things so often, we see them less and less.” When we open our eyes and give thanks for all the beautiful things in our life, we are “living Thanksgiving daily.”

The second thing we can do is OPEN OUR HEARTS. We must let go of the negative emotions that bind our hearts and instead fill our souls with love, faith and thanksgiving.

Anger, resentment, and bitterness hurt or cut down the growth of our soul or character. “Would you bathe in impure water? Then why do we bathe our souls with negative and bitter thoughts and feelings.?

“Forgive others who have offended you. Don’t waste another moment feeling self-pity. Every day drain from your heart the feelings of resentment, rage, and defeat that do nothing but discourage and destroy. FILL YOUR HEART with love and those things that encourage and inspire.

The third thing we can do to live in thanksgiving daily is OPEN OUR ARMS. One of the best ways we show our gratitude is by blessing the lives of those around us. When was the last time you told someone you love how much he or she means to you? When was the last time you expressed your gratitude to someone who has always been there for you, someone who has sacrificed for you, someone whose heart has always been filled with hopes and dreams for you? When was the last time you unselfishly reached out to help another in need.

Every time we cheer another’s heart, every time we help someone in need, every time we lift a weary hand, we show our gratitude. The blessings that come from opening our arms to others are among the choicest this earth has to offer. When we serve and help others, we are most happy - - a Chinese student told of using his time at noon to get some things to help his girlfriend. There was no time for a nap, but he felt so good that he was not tried during the afternoon classes.

As we OPEN OUR EYES, HEARTS AND ARMS, our step will become a little lighter, our smile will become a little brighter and the darkness that sometimes broods over our lives will become a little lighter.

Be grateful. Every day is a new opportunity for us to be grateful and happy. One of the great leaders of our time, who I respect and admire, Gordon B. Hinkley, has said, “My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life, we ‘accentuate the positive.’ I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment and endorse virtue and effort.”

Don’t wait to start. Open your eyes, open your hearts, and open your arms. I promise that as you do so, you will feel greater joy and happiness. Your life will have a new level of meaning.

Remember these BE ATTITUDES: BE THANKFUL . . . . BE GRATEFUL . . . . BE HAPPY!! That’s how we LIVE IN THANKSGIVING EVERY DAY!

WORLD KINDNESS DAY!!!!

November 13th was World Kindness Day all around the globe. To encourage my Grandchildren to join people around the world on this day and commit random acts of kindness, I sent them the following famous story (Aesop Fable) to read and learn about KINDNESS:

There are many simple ways to celebrate World Kindness Day. Read the list below. Choose one thing you could do. Draw a picture or write a sentence about the action you pick.

* Be generous with your smile!

* Give 10 hugs in one day!

* Start a conversation with a new student or someone who looks lonely.

* Smile at people who look sad.

* Write a nice note to someone.

WHAT IS THE LONGEST WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE???? __________________________ (The answer is SMILE, because there is a "mile" between the first and last letter.)

KEEP SMILING and always have a happy song in your HEART ... it's so easy to be KIND to others when you are feeling happy yourself.

WHEN YOU'RE SMILING -- Song

When you’re smiling, when you’re smiling

The whole world smiles with you.

When you’re laughing, when you’re laughing

The sun comes shining through.

But when you’re crying, you bring on the rain

So stop your crying, be happy again.

Keep on smiling, ‘cause when you’re smiling

The whole world smiles with you.

The Crocodile Hunter ...

Anyone who gets their very own scrub python for their 6th birthday would have some tales to tell and Steve has plenty! While most other children were opening cans of pet food for their cats or dogs, Steve was out catching fish and hunting rodents to feed to his crocodiles and snakes.

As the son of renowned naturalists, Bob and Lyn Irwin, Steve developed a love for critters from a very young age, helping to feed and care for the animals at the family's Queensland Reptile and Fauna Park. Steve's dad taught the young Steve everything there was to know about reptiles - even teaching his nine year old how to jump in and catch crocodiles in the rivers of North Queensland at night! This father and son's proud boast is that every crocodile in their park (now numbering some 100 animals) was either caught by their bare hands or bred and raised in their Park.Steve is now the director of Australia Zoo in Queensland, Australia, and host of that wild series THE CROCODILE HUNTER.

As he grew older Steve followed in his father's footsteps and volunteered his services to the Queensland Governments rogue crocodile relocation program which saw him spend years living on his own in the mosquito infested creeks, rivers and mangroves of North Queensland catching huge troublesome crocodiles single-handed. His record of successful catches is still staggering to this day.

Since 1991, Australia Zoo has flourished and expanded under Steve's guidance. Steve the star was born after a chance encounter with his friend, a television producer who was filming in the Park for TV. In true Steve style they took a punt and the first documentary, "The Crocodile Hunter" was produced in 1992. The tremendous success of this one program quickly encouraged the making of more and so over the next 3 years, 10 one hour episodes were made and on television screens all over the world. Steve has now filmed 50 episodes of "Crocodile Hunter", 52 episodes of "Croc Files", and his next project will be an animated series.Steve has the greatest respect and understanding for all animals - something that has been instilled into him by his family for all of his life - and he's proud to share his passion with everyone who visits his Zoo and with his five hundred million viewers world-wide.

In 1992, Steve married Terri Raines, a young American whom he met when she visited the zoo.

Terri Raines was born in Eugene, Oregon in the USA. Her father ran a successful construction business - very much a family affair and in 1979 Terri joined her dad to learn all the skills of managing their large trucking business. Terri's dad was constantly bringing home injured creatures from the highways his trucks traversed and this was to eventually instill in her an ongoing commitment to saving and rehabilitating wild animals. In 1986 she started a rehab facility called "Cougar Country" to re-educate and release predatory mammals such as fox, possum, raccoon, bears, bob-cats, and of course cougars back into the wild. Soon she was handling 300 animals a year. Later in 1989 she joined an Emergency Veterinary Hospital to work as a vet technician to gain further valuable knowledge on the care and support of all kinds of animals. Life couldn't have been busier as she still kept a hand in helping her dad run the family business, rehabilitating animals through her "Cougar Country", working spare moments at the Vet Hospital and looking after her own 15 cats, several birds and a dog. Too full for low priority activities like dating. Or so she thought.

So it was in October, 1991 that she visited Australia to explore the rehabilitation scene in our wildlife parks. It was while she was on the Sunshine Coast visiting a friend that she decided to drop into the Queensland Reptile & Fauna Park at Beerwah "just out of curiosity". A chance meeting with the man doing the Crocodile demo, Steve Irwin, was to change her life forever. The couple got engaged four months later and married on the 4th June 1992 and honeymooned while filming their first television documentary. Terri left everything she had worked so hard for in the United States all behind…… her family's business, her rehab centre, her veterinary work and all her beloved pets - but it was almost as if fate had taken a hand. From the dreams of a small child, she was to share her lifelong ideals for wildlife with the world. As "the sensible one" on Animal Planet's THE CROCODILE HUNTER, Terri Irwin has won fans all over the world. If you saw Terri braving the murky depths of a croc infested river after falling from the boat you would know this is one capable lady.

Terri Irwin is the perfect partner in this incredible daring duo of the New Millennium and now they have a baby Irwin wrestling tiny geckos … Bindi Sue Irwin was born July 24, 1998. And no…she isn't the squeamish type.

The latest arrival to the Irwin clan is Robert Clarence, born December 1, 2003. Robert is mammal mad with a passion for everything from dingoes to koalas. He also loves to flirt with the ladies and is keen on motorcycles and nothing gets him going like art. He points with great excitement at anything framed on the wall. What a little beauty!

Learn more about Steve and his family and mission on http://www.crocodilehunter.com/

HEART SMARTS ...

Save Your Heart Today -- Heart disease is the number one killer of women. Eighty percent of cases are preventable. Mehmet Oz, MD, and Michael Roizen, MD, boil it down to the

10 THINGS WE SHOULD ALL BE DOING

Get at least seven hours of sleep.

That's per night, not week. And men—a needier breed—require eight. The benefit? Ask us if you still need an explanation when you wake up in the morning.

Know your blood pressure.

What's the fastest way to age an artery? Subject it to high blood pressure, which will harden it like a garden hose that's been left out in the sun. A range of 120/80 to 130/85 mmHg is considered below the hypertension point, but it's not ideal. In fact, reducing your blood pressure from 130/85 to 115/76 can make your body up to ten years younger. There's no data to show that using drugs to lower blood pressure offers the full youth effect. So for now, you guessed it: Exercise, lose weight, reduce stress. The good news is the benefits from doing physical activity are just about instantaneous.

Avoid smoky bars.

Don't let people puff away in your space. An hour of passive smoke (called “second hand”smoke from others smoking around you) can cause the same amount of aging as having two to four cigarettes. (If you're doing the smoking, we're not going to bother nagging. You know what to do.)

Learn something new. Love something you do.

Continuing to challenge the brain and being passionately engaged increases neuroplasticity, prompting the growth of extra connections. If you then have an injury like a stroke, the brain is better able to compensate for the trauma and lessen its effects.

Walk 30 minutes every day.

One study on men suggests that for every hour of exercise, you get two extra hours of life. Rather than the "30 minutes," though, fixate on the "every day"—moving regularly is the active ingredient in exercise's powerful anti-aging effect.

Take half an aspirin daily.

Yes, those big studies came out last year saying low-dose aspirin does pretty much zilch to prevent heart attacks and cancer in women, but we still have little bits and pieces of the puzzle coming in—and the evidence is strong for aspirin's reducing the risk of stroke. Let's put it this way: People in the know take half an aspirin a day. If you're over 40, we recommend half a 325 milligram tablet (or two baby aspirins), with half a glass of warm water both before and after you swallow so that you're less likely to irritate your stomach. Check with your doctor to make sure you are aspirin tolerant.

Eat fish three times a week.

It may not be just the omega-3s in the oil that keep the heart and arteries humming along; a number of animal studies have also indicated that fish protein provides a separate boost to cardiovascular health. Eat a variety of low-mercury fish (such as wild salmon, catfish, or tilapia). And if you're not nuts about seafood, an ounce of walnuts a day will give you a good dose of omega-3s.

Live within your means.

Feeling out of control financially can cost you not only sleep (see number one) but also arterial health due to chronic stress. A bankruptcy can put miles on your body's odometer.

Floss and brush.

Periodontal disease, such as gingivitis, does not affect just the gums. Any chronic infection stimulates your body to defend itself, and part of the response is to protect against bleeding with an increase in clotting tendency—a recipe for heart attack.

Don't leave home without a stress-reducing technique—or several.

Deep breathing, meditation, yoga, running, knitting—you can't have too many ways to defuse stress. Even scrunching up your face as tightly as you can for 15 seconds and then releasing can deflect the pressure before it gets to you and starts wearing and tearing your cells.

Who I Am Makes a Difference

Check this site to see a very interesting, inspiring movie:

http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/i-made-diff.php

ATTITUDE . . .

Attitude............

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. "Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did, and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. "Hmmm, " she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said, "Today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that there wasn't a single hair on her head. "YEAH!! " she yelled, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything. As the saying goes: The kind of life you will have isn't determined by what happens to you, it's determined by your reaction to what happens to you.

Have a Good Day. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

KINDNESS and LOVE . . .

KINDNESS provides a house, but LOVE makes a home.

Kindness packs an adequate sack lunch, but love puts a note of encouragement inside.

Kindness provides a television set or computer as a learning air, but love controls the remote control and cares enough to insist a child “sign off”.

Kindness sends a child to bed on time, but love tucks the covers around a child’s neck and provides a goodnight hug and kiss.

Kindness cooks a meal, but love selects the “your favorite foods” menu and lights the candles.

Kindness writes a thank-you note, but love thinks to include a joke or photograph or bookmark inside the envelope.

Kindness keeps a clean and tidy house, but love adds a bouquet of fresh flowers.

Kindness pours a glass of milk, but love occasionally adds a little chocolate sauce.

Kindness is doing what is decent, basic, courteous, and necessary for an even, smooth, and gentle flow of life.

Love is taking the extra step to make life truly exciting, creative and meaningful!

Love is what makes things special.

LOVE . . .

LOVE works in ways that are

wondrous and strange,

There's nothing in life that

LOVE can not change!

SEVEN WAYS TO MAKE YOUR BRAIN SMARTER...

Here's a very interesting article ... How many of these things are a part of your life?

MIND GAMES … SEVEN WAYS TO MAKE YOUR BRAIN BETTER, FASTER, SMARTER ...

by William Speed Weed, Reader’s Digest, August 2006

# 1. MOVE IT … “The best advice I can give to keep your brain healthy and young is aerobic exercise,” says Donald Stuss, PhD, a neuropsychologist and director of the Rotman Research Institute at Baycrest Centre for Geriatric Care in Toronto.

Mark McDaniel, PhD, professor of psychology at Washington University in St. Louis, agrees, but adds, “I would suggest a combined program of aerobics and weight training. Studies show the best outcomes for those engaged in both types of exercise.”

As we age, our brain cells, called neurons, lose the tree-branch-like connections between them. These connections, or synapses, are essential to thought. Quite literally, over time, our brains lose their strength. Perhaps the most striking brain research today is the strong evidence we now have that “exercise may forestall some kinds of mental decline.” It may even restore memory. Myriad animal studies have shown that, among other brain benefits, aerobic exercise increases capillary development in the brain, meaning more blood supply, more nutrients and – a big requirement for brain health – more oxygen.

#2. FEED IT … Another path to a better brain is through your stomach. We’ve all heard about antioxidants as cancer fighters. Eating foods that contain these molecules, which neutralize harmful free radicals, may be especially good for your brain too. Free radicals break down the neurons in our brains. Many colorful fruits and vegetables are packed with antioxidants, as are some beans, whole grains, nuts and spices.

More important, thought, is overall nutrition. In concert with a good workout routine, you should eat right to avoid the diseases that modern flesh is heir to. High blood pressure, diabetes, obesity and high cholesterol all make life tough on your brain, says Carol Greenwood, PhD, a geriatric research scientist at the University of Toronto.

If your diet is heavy, then you’re probably also heavy. The same weight that burdens your legs on the stairs also burdens your brain for the witty reply or quick problem solving. The best things you can eat for your body, are also the best things you can eat for your brain. Your brain is in your body, after all. Greenwood’s recommendation is to follow the dietary guidelines from the American Diabetes Association (available at diabetes.org).

#3. SPEED IT UP … Our brains naturally start slowing down at the cruelly young age of 30. It used to be thought that this couldn’t be helped, but a lot of new studies show that people of any age can train their brains to be faster and, and in effect, younger. “Your brain is a learning machine,” says Michael Merzenich, PhD, a neuroscientist at the University of California, San Francisco. Given the right tools, we can train our brains to act like they did when we were younger. All that’s required is dedicated practice: exercises for the mind.

Merzenich has developed a computer-based training regimen to speed up how the brain processes information (positscience.com). Since much of the data we receive comes through speech, the Brain Fitness Program works with language and hearing to improve both speed and accuracy. Over the course of your training, the program starts asking you to distinguish sounds (between “dog” and “bog,” for instance) at an increasingly faster rate. It’s a bit like a tennis instructor shooting balls at you faster and faster over the course of the summer to keep you challenged. Though you may have started out slow, by the end of summer you’re pretty fast.

Similarly, Nintendo was inspired by the research of a Japanese doctor to develop a handheld game called Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day, which has sold more than two million copies in Japan. No software out there has yet been approved by the FDA as a treatment for cognitive impairment, but an increasing number of reputable scientific studies suggest that programs like Merzenich’s could help slow down typical brain aging, or even treat dementia. The biggest findings in brain research in the last ten years is that the brain at any age is highly adaptable, or “plastic,” as neurologists put it. If you ask your brain to learn, it will learn. And it may speed up in the process.

To keep your brain young and supple, you can do one of a million new activities that challenge and excite you: playing Ping-Pong or contract bridge, doing jigsaw puzzles, learning a new language or the tango, taking music lessons, building a kit airplane, mastering bonsai technique or another skill, and even relearning differential calculus.

“Anything that closely engages your focus and is strongly rewarding,” says Merzenich, will kick your brain into learning mode and necessarily notch it up. Merzenich, 64 years of age, has “4,000 hobbies,” including a wood shop and a vineyard.

#4 STAY CALM … While challenging your brain is very important, remaining calm is equally so. In a paper on the brain and stress, Jeansok Kim of the University of Washington asserts, in no uncertain terms, that traumatic stress is bad for your brain cells. Stress can “disturb cognitive processes such as learning and memory, and consequently limit the quality of human life,” writes Kim.

One example is a part of the brain called the hippocampus, which is a primary locus of memory formation, but which can be seriously debilitated by chronic stress. Of course, physical exercise is always a great de-stressor, as are calmer activities like yoga and meditation. And when you line up your mental calisthenics (your Swahili and swing lessons), make sure you can stay loose and have fun.

#5 GIVE IT A REST … Perhaps the most extreme examples of the mental power of staying calm is the creative benefit of sleep. Next time you’re working on a complex problem, whether it be a calculus proof or choosing the right car for your family, it really pays to “sleep on it.”

Researchers at Harvard Medical School have looked at the conditions under which people come up with creative solutions. In a study involving math problems, they found that a good night’s rest doubled participants’ chances of finding a creative solution to the problems the next day. The sleeping brain, they theorize, is vastly capable of synthesizing complex information.

#6. LAUGH A LITTLE … Humor stimulates the parts of our brain that use the “feel good” chemical messenger dopamine. That puts laughter in the category of activities you want to do over and over again, such as eating chocolate or having sex. Laughter is pleasurable, perhaps even “addictive,” to the brain.

But can humor make us smarter? The jury is still out and more studies are needed, but the initial results are encouraging. Look for a feature on exciting new research about humor and intelligence in the September issue of Reader’s Digest. (I’ll post this information when I get it.)

#7. GET BETTER WITH AGE … You’ve heard about the wisdom and judgment of older people? Scientists are starting to understand how wisdom works on a neurological level.

When you are older, explains Merzenish, “you have recorded in your brain millions and millions of little social scenarios and facts” that you can call upon at any time. You are a much better synthesizer and integrator of that information.”

Older people are better at solving problems, because they have more mental information to draw upon than younger people do. That’s why those in their 50s and 60s are sage. They’re the ones we turn to for the best advice, the ones we want to run our companies and our country.

As Barry Gordon, a neurologist at The John Hopkins School of Medicine puts it, “It’s nice to know some things get better with age.”

MORE WAYS TO STAY SHARP:

· DON’T SMOKE … Smokers perform worse than nonsmokers in studies of memory and cognitive function. No one knows whether smoking directly impairs memory or is merely associated with memory loss because it causes illnesses that contribute to poorer brain function. In addition, smoking increases the risk for stroke and hypertension, two other causes of memory impairment. In any case, if you smoke, it pays to quit. Research shows that people who stop smoking have less mental decline than those who continue to smoke.

· DRINK IN MODERATION … Excessive consumption of alcohol is toxic to neurons and is the leading risk factor for Korsakoff’s syndrome, a disorder that causes sudden and irreversible memory loss. If you’re a heavy drinker, cutting back can prevent further memory loss and will usually lead to some recovery of damaged memory function. (Miss Becky suggests no drinking of alcohol, for several health reasons, which I’ll discuss in a future article.)

· BE SOCIAL … Close ties with others can improve the cognitive performance of older people, according to a MacArthur study on aging and other research. Social support can come from relationships with friends, relatives or caregivers. A Canadian study published in 2003 identified a lack of relationships with friends and family as a risk factor for cognitive decline. The study, which followed people over age 65 for four years, found that the probability of maintaining good cognitive function was highest among people who socialized often and had strong social ties; the probability of losing cognitive function was highest among people who had the least contact.

Social engagement often goes hand in hand with intellectually stimulating activities, which in turn promote good memory function. Social relationships can also help support you during stressful times, reducing the damaging effects that stress can have on the brain.

· WATCH YOUR HEAD … Head trauma often results in memory impairment, which is a risk factor for future development of dementia. You can prevent head injury by using the appropriate gear during high-speed activities and contact sports. Car accidents are by; far the most common cause of brain injury, and wearing seat belts greatly reduces the injury risk. Use a helmet when bicycling, riding on a motorcycle, in-line skating and skiing. And you can lower the risk of concussion by wearing a mouth guard, which deflects the force of a blow to the chin, during contact sports such as football, hockey, soccer, basketball, rugby and martial arts.

SUNSHINE PROJECT UPDATE

The following report and pictures were sent by Hua Wei, one of the special ladies who has continued to direct the project since we've left China. Thanks to all who have continued to support this effort and bring SUNSHINE into the lives of these children.

GAOCHUN DEAF SCHOOL .... 06/03/06

The Children's Day this year is not on a weekend, so we planned our annual trip to the Deaf School today (06/03/06).

The girl named Lv Xiaohong and the boy who is good at sports, named Wan Qiwang graduated already and was admitted to

a high school for deaf students in Nanjing.

There are more students this year than ever before at Gaochun since the school has now

added more than 10 mentally disabled kids. Altogether there are more than 70 students now in the Gaochun Deaf

School.

This year another PROJECTOR has been placed in the classroom, so there are two projectors now

supported by our Sunshine Project. The teachers praised a lot for these two instruments since they

find them very useful in their teaching.

Another girl supported by the Sunshine Project, named Yang Shuwen, was honored as one of the Ten

Disabled K-12 Students in the Nanjing Region, while one of the 100 Best of Most Excellent K-12 Kids.

The school has three new teachers this year. The kids have some new performance.

 

Deaf Student performing for us.

(From Left to Right: Jing Hong, Bola [student leader] BYU Teachers Mrs. & Mr. Rusts, Hairong, Miss Yuan & Hua Wei)

We have another couple of BYU teachers, the Rusts, to be with us today. They were performing games on the stage and making

dumplings with the kids. Jinghong's daughter, Hairong, who is now a high school student also joined our trip.

And another faculty member, Miss Yuan, form the Network Center of NJU also joined our team.

More students performing ... a new teacher on the right.

Their computer lab really is looking nice, especially compared to what it was like when we started the project.

The school's teachers hope to have another Projector next year from our project, but Jinghong and I are not sure

about our budget. We said we will try to raise more funds and wait until we have enough support. But what

becomes more urgent is that the money from the Hong Kong people is less this year. Anyway we will try to work

hard.

************************************************

This is the end of Hua Wei's report and I would just like to express my thanks to her and all those who traveled to the school and who donated money to the project ... you are making a difference in the lives of these special children. My daughter Kara, who is currently working on a PhD in Education, was able to visit the school last year and she was so impressed with the project. She is giving some support and is encouraging us to continue to support this project, as well.

I have a good project in mind for raising some funds as we each work on becoming more physically fit and "smarter" .... Look on this site for more details to follow.

The Parable of the ROSE

THE PARABLE OF THE ROSE

A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it. He saw the bud that would soon blossom and also the thorns. He thought, “How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns?” Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose and before it was able to bloom, it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose – the God-like qualities planted in us at birth, growing amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects. We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us and eventually we die, never realizing our potential.

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the Savior’s greatest characteristics was that He was able to show people the kingdom of heaven within them. He was able to reach past their thorns and show them the rose.

This is the characteristic of love – to look at a person and, knowing his faults, recognize the nobility in his soul and help him realize that he can overcome his faults. If we show him the rose, he will conquer the thorns and then he will blossom, bringing forth thirty, sixty, or an hundred-fold as it is given to him.

Our duty in this world is to help our brothers and sisters by showing them their roses and not their thorns.

Politeness Put to the Test

It's interesting that this article would be in the new READER'S DIGEST magazine that I just received, because I'm giving a presentation on manners and politeness tomorrow evening for about 30 young men and women. My son Brady will be helping me, as Ken is coaching at a Basketball camp at Utah State University. I will be doing a program similar to one that Ken and I did for our freshman students at Shandong Medical University, where the boys presented a rose to one of the girls and helped them to their seat, but the youth will be served dinner and I'll teach them proper table manners. Hope it's fun!

From Reader's Digest, July 2006 --

Politeness Put to the Test

A woman heads into a popular New York City coffee shop on a chilly winter morning. Just ahead of her, a man drops a file full of documents. The woman pauses, and stoops to help gather the papers.

Six blocks away, a different man enters another shop, but not before politely holding the door for the person behind him. A clerk at another busy store thanks a customer who's just made a purchase. "Enjoy," the young woman says, smiling widely. "Have a nice day." She sounds like she really means it.

Whoa. Common courtesy on the mean streets of a city known for its in-your-face style? Have New Yorkers suddenly gone soft?

In her international bestselling death-of-manners manifesto Talk to the Hand, author Lynne Truss argues that common courtesies such as saying "Excuse me" are practically extinct. There are certainly plenty who would agree with her. Consider that in one recent survey, 70 percent of U.S. adults said people are ruder now than they were 20 years ago.

Is it really true? Reader's Digest decided to find out if courtesy truly is kaput. RD sent reporters to major cities in 35 countries where the magazine is published -- from Auckland, New Zealand, to Zagreb, Croatia. In the United States, that meant targeting New York, where looking out for No. 1 -- the heck with the other guy -- has always been a basic survival skill.

The routine in New York was similar to the one followed elsewhere: Two reporters -- one woman and one man -- fanned out across the city, homing in on neighborhoods where street life and retail shops thrive. They performed three experiments: "door tests" (would anyone hold one open for them?); "document drops" (who would help them retrieve a pile of "accidentally" dropped papers?); and "service tests" (which salesclerks would thank them for a purchase?). For consistency, the New York tests were conducted at Starbucks coffee shops, by now almost as common in the Big Apple as streetlights. In all, 60 tests (20 of each type) were done.

Along the way, the reporters encountered all types: men and women of different races, ages, professions, and income levels. They met an aspiring actress, a high school student, a hedge-fund analyst and two New York City police officers. And guess what? In the end, four out of every five people they encountered passed RD's courtesy test -- making New York the most courteous city in the world. Imagine that.

A for Effort

While 90 percent of New Yorkers passed the door test, only 55 percent aced the document drop. Are people less likely to help others when doing so takes extra effort or time? Not always, the reporters found. Take the pregnant woman who thought nothing of bending down to help us with our papers. Or the Queens woman named Liz who precariously balanced two coffees, her keys and her wallet on a takeout tray with one hand, while picking up papers off the wet pavement with the other. Her reason for helping? "I was there," she said matter-of-factly.

Part of the Job

Nineteen of the 20 clerks who were subjected to service tests passed. Roger Benjamin, the manager and coffee master at a Manhattan Starbucks, acknowledged that the chain trains its employees to be courteous. And some baristas the RD reporters encountered went beyond basic niceties. "You have to feed off people's vibes," said one clerk. "You go out of your way to show customers they did us a favor by coming here." At another store, a green-apron-clad attendant said that while courtesy was part of his job, he sought respect in return: "It's contagious."

Chivalry -- Not Dead Yet

Overall, men were the most willing to help, especially when it came to document drops. In those, men offered aid 63 percent of the time, compared to 47 percent among women. Of course, men weren't entirely democratic about whom they'd help. All of them held the door for RD's female reporter, and were more than twice as likely to help her pick up fallen papers than they were to help our male reporter. "I'll hold the door for whoever's behind me," said Pete Muller, 27, an account executive from Brooklyn. "But I'm definitely more conscious of women!" he added with a smile.

Mother Knows Best

By far, the most common reason people cited for being willing to go out of their way to help others was their upbringing. "It's the way I was raised," said one young woman who held a door open despite struggling with her umbrella on a frigid, sleety day in Brooklyn.

Her sentiment was echoed by Christine DuBois, a 49-year-old sales manager from Bayside, Queens. DuBois was headed to the gym when she stopped to retrieve a pile of scattered papers. "It's something that's taught to you when you're young," she said.

A few people, including Frederick Martin, 29, credited their mothers' influence specifically. "My mom brought me up like that," Martin said. "It's pure manners."

What Goes Around...

Another reason people are quick to be courteous: "You do what you'd want other people to do if it happened to you," said Christine Rossi, who pitched in on an early-morning document drop. Dennis Kleinman, a 57-year-old doctor and writer, used one word to sum up what drove his impulse to help: "Empathy." He came to the aid of an RD reporter when a middle-aged woman ignored a pile of papers in front of a shop on Manhattan's East Side. "The same thing happens to me, and I appreciate it when someone takes 10 to 15 seconds of their valuable time to help," he said.

Excuses, Excuses

The reporters did run into a few courtesy clods. In one case, while an RD staffer was inside a Starbucks interviewing a woman who'd passed the door test, a dozen oblivious people stepped over a second staffer's fallen papers. Another time, a wise guy offered only a snarky comment on our clumsiness: "That guy had too much coffee!" he cracked.

And just when we thought we'd heard every excuse in the book for not helping, along came Margot Zimmerman. The 44-year-old computer saleswoman was on her way into a Queens Starbucks when a reporter dropped his folder of papers right at her feet. Looking down, Zimmerman stepped gingerly around the papers, then entered the shop. "I'm probably one of the most courteous people," she insisted later. "I pick up every other person's dog poop. I help old ladies across the street. But when he dropped his papers, he made such a face."

Thankfully, such responses were the exception, not the rule. Which makes New York City a pretty darn polite place -- the most polite major city in the entire world, in case you missed it before. We realize this isn't a rigorous scientific study, but we believe it is a reasonable real-world test of good manners around the globe. And it's comforting to know that in a place where millions of people jostle one another each day in a relentless push to get ahead, they're able to do it with a smile and a thank-you. Hey, if they can make nice here, they can make nice anywhere.

World of Courtesy: Ranking of 35 Cities

Below is a ranking of the most courteous to the least courteous -- 35 major cities included in RD's Global Courtesy Test. Figures reflect the percentage of people who passed in each city. When multiple cities had identical scores, they are listed in alphabetical order.

New York USA 80%

Zurich Switzerland 77

Toronto Canada 70

Berlin Germany 68

São Paulo Brazil 68

Zagreb Croatia 68

Auckland New Zealand 67

Warsaw Poland 67

Mexico City Mexico 65

Stockholm Sweden 63

Budapest Hungary 60

Madrid Spain 60

Prague Czech Republic 60

Vienna Austria 60

Buenos Aires Argentina 57

Johannesburg South Africa 57

Lisbon Portugal 57

London United Kingdom 57

Paris France 57

Amsterdam Netherlands 52

Helsinki Finland 48

Manila Philippines 48

Milan Italy 47

Sydney Australia 47

Bangkok Thailand 45

Hong Kong China 45

Ljubljana Slovenia 45

Jakarta Indonesia 43

Taipei Taiwan 43

Moscow Russia 42

Singapore 42

Seoul South Korea 40

Kuala Lumpur Malaysia 37

Bucharest Romania 35

Mumbai India 32

The Power of Truth

I won’t be weighed down by lies….

From Gary King's Lecturer on “The Power of Truth”

Telling even an inconsequential lie weakens the body.

David R. Hawkins, MD, a noted scientist, tested the correlation between LYING and HUMAN STRENGTH on thousands of patients and demonstrated THAT THE BODY REMAINED STORNG WHEN PARTICIPANTS TOLD THE TRUTH AND WEAKENED WHEN THEY TOLD EVEN A SMALL LIE. Now, if the muscles in the body test weak in an inconsequential lie, what do you suspect is going on if in the course of a week you tell up to a dozen small lies? You’re conditioning your body to be weak.

I believe that lying is a form of addiction. Tell the average person, “For the next 30 days, be honest and authentic in everything you do,” and he’ll be over-whelmed. A couple of years ago, I came up with something that’s more doable: the 24-hour truth challenge. For one day, you decide to tell the truth. You don’t lie to yourself or anyone else. This causes a shift in consciousness; you are now paying attention.

But once you get past the initial discomfort of being completely honest, you start to feel something in your solar plexus, a sensation of strength. A lightness and energy and freedom arise. You’ll notice a difference in your courage, the way you walk, the way you stand, the tone of your voice, the communication you have with people you love, the depth of connection with those close to you and with people you don’t even know. If you speak the truth, feelings might get hurt. That is okay – humans are not weak.

YOU DO PEOPLE NO FAVORS BY TRYING TO PROTECT THEM FROM THE TRUTH. IF YOU HONOR THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU, BE HONEST WITH THEM.

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A comment from Miss Becky --- It's most important that we do not LIE to ourself. That only weakens our own character. It's easy to RATIONALIZE our behavior to ourselves. We may feel justified in hurting others or continuing in addictive or negative behavior. But remember that the word "rationalize" could be broken into the two words: RATIONAL LIES. These are the little "lies" we tell ourself to justify our negative feelings and actions. They only weaken us ... they do not help us or others. Honesty is the best policy for a successful, happy life.

A MIRACLE OF LOVE & MODERN MEDICINE

I stared at our seven-month-old baby girl, Chelsea, in the hospital crib. As I tucked up her blanket, my eyes rested on the old Dillon family Bible I kept in the crib with her. It had belonged to my grandmother, who died when I was thirteen. I cherished that Bible as I had cherished my grandmother. She always soothed my childhood hurts and fears; to this day I still missed her. The Bible had rested in her hands during her funeral service. My mother removed it just before the coffin lid was lowered and later gave it to me.

But even Grandmother probably could not have soothed the hurt and fear my husband, Lance, and I now faced. Earlier that day the specialists at University Medical Center in Tucson had finally diagnosed the baffling condition that was slowly but surely draining the life from our first child.

“Chelsea has an extremely rare birth defect called severe combined immunodeficiency syndrome,” our doctor informed us. “SCIDS interferes with the normal functioning of her immune system. She has virtually no natural defenses against infection. Her bone marrow doesn’t produce the necessary cells.”

I stood statue-still and stared at him . . . I had prayed that somewhere in the mighty arsenal of modern medicine was the right drug, the magic bullet that would cure her. The immunologist carefully explained that the only option was a bone marrow transplant – a risky procedure that at best had about a fifty percent chance of success.

The only option.

We needed to transfer her to a hospital that did this sort of operation as soon as possible, he had said. There were only a few in the entire country.

Now as I stood over Chelsea’s crib I smoothed the blanket and pushed the old Bible off to the side. It’s leather cover was worn soft with use. As my child slept I closed my eyes and hoped for a miracle.

The next day we decided on Memorial Sloan-Kettering in Manhattan (New York City) for the procedure because of their slightly-higher-than-average success rate. But now came the enormous problem of transporting Chelsea from Tucson (in Arizona in the south west of our country) to New York (in the northeast) without exposing her to many people. Chelsea couldn’t afford to catch even a cold. Any worsening in her condition would delay surgery. A simple flue bug could kill her.

Driving there was out of the question. She couldn’t be off her IV fluids for that long. Commercial airliners posed too much hazard of contracting contagious disease, and big airports were even worse. We needed a private plane, but Chelsea’s condition was not considered acutely critical – a criterion that had to be met before our insurance company would agree to cover the enormous cost of a jet. The catch-22 was that if Chelsea did become that critical, she would probably be too sick to have the surgery.

Lance and I were at wit’s end. We didn’t sleep, we barely ate. There had to be something we could do. We made countless phone calls. Finally we heard about a group called Corporate Angels, which provides free flights for sick children aboard private planes. The flights conduct normal business travel, and patients hitch along. Corporate Angels found us a flight leaving that Friday out of Denver bound nonstop for New York. A miracle was in our grasp.

“Dear God,” I prayed, “now please help us get to Denver. I know You have Your ways. We’ll just keep on trying.”

Denver (in Colorado) was too far to drive. We got the number of a private medevac (flies people with medical problems for a fee) company. Maybe we could pay for the flight ourselves. But when I talked to Judy Barrie, a paramedic whose husband, Jim, piloted the medevac plane, she gave me the bad news. “The flight will cost six thousand dollars, minimum,” she said. We didn’t have six thousand dollars. Our finances had been stretched to the limit.

I thanked Judy and said good-bye. “Wait,” she said suddenly as I was about to hang up. “I really want to help you. I’m not promising anything, but I’ll talk to Jim. Maybe he can figure this out.”

When I hung up I had the strangest feeling that these people would be able to do something about what was increasingly a hopeless situation. An hour later Jim Barrie called back. “Listen, I’ve got a friend flying back an empty plane from Phoenix (city in Arizona, not far from Tucson where they were) to Denver in the morning,” Jim told me. “If you can get to the field by six-thirty, you can hitch a ride.”

Perfect. Chelsea could handle the drive to Phoenix. But I was almost afraid to ask the next question. “Jim, what will it cost?”

“Cost? Heck, not a thing. This guy’s a friend, and he’s got to get his plane up there anyway.”

I was faint with relief. These total strangers had taken a huge step in saving the life of my child. I didn’t know what to say. The word thanks didn’t seem big enough.

“You could do us one little favor, though,” Jim added. “Judy and I would like to meet Chelsea.”

Chelsea was awake and even a bit playful when Jim and Judy arrived at the hospital. While Jim talked to Lance (her husband) about finding our way around the Phoenix airport, Judy and I chatted. Her eyes kept flitting over to the crib. Then I noticed she was staring at Grandma’s Bible. One time when Judy was leaning over Chelsea, her fingers brushed it. Finally, as they were about to go, Judy asked, “Where are you from?” I told her Pittsburgh (a city in a state near New York and very far from Arizona).

“I’m from Pittsburgh too,” she said slowly. “Well, the suburb Carnegie actually.”

“My mother is from Carnegie,” I said. I felt a shiver go through me. “Virginia Everett. Dillon was her maiden name.”

“Virginia Dillon?” Judy said, eyes wide. “My father was Howard Dillon.”

“Uncle Howard?” I was stunned.

Judy nodded. It was as if a current of electricity had jumped between us. Now I could see why her face had seemed faintly familiar. Judy Barrie was my cousin Judy Dillon. “I haven’t seen you since . . . ,” I stared to say. Judy’s eyes jumped again to the Bible.

“Since Grandma’s funeral twenty years ago,” she finished the sentence. “That’s the Bible she was holding.”

We fell into each other’s arms. I knew then that all would be well with Chelsea. The odds against this crossing of paths were simple too great. This was meant to be.

Chelsea got her bone marrow transplant and four months later she left the hospital with a healthy immune system. She is, as they say, a medical miracle.

And then there was the other miracle. I like to think of it as my grandmother’s miracle. In a sense, even twenty years after her funeral, she was reaching out to comfort me and assure me that with God all things are possible.

By Cheryl Deep

Comment: The power of love is no less potent than that of modern medicine. In the right hands, each serves as it’s own instrument of God’s healing.

Today's REAL HEROES . . .

For many years Ben Stein has written a biweekly column published in many newspapers across America called "Monday Night At Morton's." (Morton's is a famous chain of Steakhouses known to be frequented by movie stars and famous people from around the globe.) Now, Ben is terminating the column to move on to other things in his life. Worth Reading!!!! Be sure to read to the end, as there he identifies the most important thing in life ... I know his statements are true and the principle of serving others has been a guiding light in my life.

Ben Stein's Last Column...

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How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?

I have been doing this column for so long that I cannot even recall when I started. I loved writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would never end.

It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a person and the world's change have overtaken it. On a small scale, Morton's, while better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to. It still brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars. I saw Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice visit, and right before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren Beatty in an elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was a super movie. But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was, though it probably will be again.

Beyond that, a bigger change has happened. I no longer think Hollywood stars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendly people, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a man or woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting them in front of a camera is no longer my idea of a shining star we should all look up to.

How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives in insane luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a "star" we mean someone bright and powerful and attractive as a role model? Real stars are not riding around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches or getting trained in yoga or Pilates and eating only raw fruit while they have Vietnamese girls do their nails.

They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me any longer. A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit, Iraq. He could have been met by a bomb or a hail of AK-47 bullets. Instead, he faced an abject Saddam Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people of the world.

A real star is the U.S. soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to a road north of Baghdad. He approached it, and the bomb went off and killed him.

A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the U.S. soldier in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece of unexploded ordnance on a street near where he was guarding a station. He pushed her aside and threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left a family desolate in California and a little girl alive in Baghdad.

The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavish weddings on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even after two of their buddies were murdered and their bodies battered and stripped for the sin of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.

We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of our magazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military pay but stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and in submarines and near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live and die.

I am no longer comfortable being a part of the system that has such poor values, and I do not want to perpetuate those values by pretending that who is eating at Morton's is a big subject.

There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament...the policemen and women who go off on patrol in South Central and have no idea if they will return alive; the orderlies and paramedics who bring in people who have been in terrible accidents and prepare them for surgery; the teachers and nurses who throw their whole spirits into caring for autistic children; the kind men and women who work in hospices and in cancer wards.

Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at the World Trade Center as the towers began to collapse. Now you have my idea of a real hero.

I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters. This is my highest and best use as a human. I can put it another way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor as Olivier or as good a comic as Steve Martin...or Martin Mull or Fred Willard--or as good an economist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good a writer as Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.

But I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, above all, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This came to be my main task in life. I did it moderately well with my son, pretty well with my wife and well indeed with my parents (with my sister's help). I cared for and paid attention to them in their declining years. I stayed with my father as he got sick, went into extremis and then into a coma and then entered immortality with my sister and me reading him the Psalms.

This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of the soldiers in Iraq or the firefighters in New York. I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty, in return for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to help others He has placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as a human.

Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will.