Some quick notes:
This is a play written for a rather weird Carleton event where anyone can write and the parts are passed out that night for production (it's rather fun). Anyway, this is a TP parody, so I thought it might be apprecitaed. Oh, and a low bass thoom is an in-joke thing.
Beth
Dramatis Persona:
ADAM NEWMAN a senior who thinks he's everyone's father. Also a very huggy person. Oh, and must be able to do an Australian Accent
MEGABYTE DAMON an obnoxious frosh
AMI JACKSON a sophomore who can't keep her arms still. Must be able to do a British accent
JADE WESTON, their friend from Britain who's prospying (is that a verb?) must be able to do a British accent
EVIL NICKELODEON EXECUTIVE gratuitous stab- a small part.
RALEIGH yeah, he's up to his old tricks, but he doesn't have any lines
AUTHOR'S NOTE: OK, so I'm stretching the theme slightly but my friend and fellow TP fan, Anne VanVelzen is in town, so with a whopping three people in the audience who will get TP in-jokes, I couldn't resist. Quick background about the show: the Tomorrow People are the next stage in human evolution: they're telepathic, they can teleport, and they can't kill. Oh, and this aired on Nickelodeon originally, so add four letter words at the risk of freaking me out big time.
Gratuitous Quote: "Cause the joke's on you/And it's long overdue," Debbie Gibson. ("Dontcha Want Me Now?", from "Think With Your Heart", copyright 1995. Comeback? She never left.)
Quote #1: "Every kid in the world could be a Tomorrow Person. I don't know, maybe it's the kids that feel different, like they don't fit in or something. There's nothing wrong with them though - they're just like us." Adam Newman
Quote #2: Anyone could be a Tomorrow People fan. Maybe it's just the ones who feel different, feel like they don't fit in. There's nothing wrong with them really - they're just like us," Kyrie Daniels.
(ADAM and JADE enter, Adam is working on something, Jade is curled up in a ball on his couch- pick a space that's "good"- asleep)
NARRATOR: Our story begins with Adam and Jade in Adam and Megabyte's room. Ami's roommate has seen fit to sexile not only Ami, but Jade as well. Consequently, Jade has crashed on Adam and Megabyte's futon. Ami and Megabyte get back from Dr. Who and come to collect Jade to drag her to Chelsea.
(AMI and MEGABYTE enter.)
AMI (using over-exaggerated arm gestures, as she does throughout the rest of the play): Oh, good, she's here. I'm not sure what to do about Felecia, I mean, sexiling a prospie?
MEGABYTE: Well, people's prospies have sexiled them before, so why not the other way around?
ADAM: One of these days, Megabyte, I'm going to wash your mind out with soap.
(MEGABYTE raises a finger as if to say something but AMI interrupts him.)
AMI: Forget the lame pun, Megabyte. (goes over to Jade) Jade?
ADAM: Let her sleep, she seemed pretty out of it during the Knights concert.
MEGABYTE: I wonder if she's recovered from those strange vibes she picked up at Burton during lunch....
ADAM: Strange vibes?
MEGABYTE: I think it was the disgruntled Saga workers.
JADE (yawning): A sense of impending doom mixed with utter joy? I don't think that's exactly what some dish room worker would be going through.
MEGABYTE: Joy is definitely not a part of working dish room two.
ADAM: We should walk over there and check it out. C'mon. (he gets up)
JADE (whining): Walk? Why can't we teleport?
ADAM (exasperated): Keep your voice down, Goodhue walls aren't exactly thick you know. If we're seen teleporting, do you realize how many mad scientists would be after us?
JADE: Why worry about it, Adam? They're all in England.
MEGABYTE: Besides, it's gotta be 25 below out there. Why walk all the way from 'Hue to Burton when you can stay warm in half the time? And we'd have to teleport into the dining hall anyway.
ADAM: It's neither that far nor that cold, Megabyte, besides...
(About 1/2 way through this speech, AMI, JADE, and MEGABYTE teleport away- just turn around once then exit or something.)
ADAM (sighs): Oh, well. (he teleports)
NARRATOR: Scene two. The four Tomorrow People have just teleported into Burton dining hall. They hear an ominous hum coming from the kitchen...
(RALEIGH enters and starts pretending to make weird adjustments to something)
NARRATOR:...where Raleigh is making adjustments to a strange device. ADAM (offstage): You three stay here.
(he enters and tries to act like he's hiding behind something)
MEGABYTE: Not bloody likely.
(MEGABYTE, JADE, and AMI enter, and join ADAM in his nebulous hiding place)
ADAM: I told you to stay where it was safe!
JADE (ignoring Adam's anger): Shouldn't he be telepathing to us right now?
MEGABYTE: Why? All bad guys are inherently deaf- or at least terminally stupid.
(NICKELODEON EXEC enters)
EXEC: Wait a minute! This is completely ridiculous! This show is canceled.
NARRATOR: Suddenly, the device that Raleigh has been working on emits wild red beams of light. The audience emits a low bass thoom, and the Nickelodeon executive gets caught in one of the beams and dies a horrible death, worse than anything Tarentino could imagine. Yeah, that's it.
(EXEC dies as horrible a death as is possible without endangering the set of Butterfly Kiss.)
ADAM: A machine of that power could destroy the entire world!
MEGABYTE: Yeah, but it just saved us from death by reruns.
ADAM: How you can you think of something like that at a time like this?
(JADE whirls around and goes quickly over to where Raleigh is standing.)
NARRATOR: Jade teleports to behind the machine, proximal to where Raleigh is standing.
ADAM: I mean, the whole world is in danger...
(JADE pantomimes shoving RALEIGH out of the way and smashing the device.)
NARRATOR: Jade smashes the device with a chair.
ADAM: And all you can think about is whether or not we're still going to be on the air. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to smash that machine.
NARRATOR: Adam looks up just in time to see Raleigh suddenly running out of the dining hall. (RALEIGH exits)
ADAM: What? Huh?
JADE: You seemed too busy lecturing Megabyte, so I smashed the machine.
ADAM (shakes his head): Jade, Jade, Jade, what are we ever going to do with you....
(JADE shrugs. ADAM hugs her.)
JADE: What was that about?
ADAM: I haven't hugged anyone the entire play. Now, about this bad habit you've acquired about going off half-cocked and saving the world....
**** end