Summary: Karyn makes some painful observations about her brother.
Author's Notes and Disclaimer:
*Sigh*
Okay, here goes the fourth installment in 'The Coming Storm' mini-serial which explores Adam's past before he became a Tomorrow Person. It is a bit necessary that you read the three preceeding stories before reading this one to make certain that you have all the facts straight. The other stories can be found at the TPFICT archive or at my website (http://www97.pair.com/mbumbarg/tp/tp.html). Yes, that was a shameless plug.
Now, for the legalese. . .
Disclaimer: Yep, you guessed it. If you recognize them at all they are not mine. The character of Adam Newman does not belong to me. He is the property of Roger Damon Price, Thames/ITV television, Nickelodeon, etc. He is used here without permission and for fun only and not for profit. Any similiarity to persons, living or dead, or events, real or imagined is unintenitional and purely coincidental. Karyn Newman is my own creation.
Please send comments and feedback, it's the only thing that keeps me writing! All comments can be sent to mbumbarger@neo.rr.com or mbumbarg@pair.com.
Enjoy!
Michele Mason Bumbarger
March, 1999
The psychologist was wrong. Why was it that no one could see it besides her?
Sitting across the table from her younger brother, Karyn Newman watched in him silence. Engrossed in dividing his attention between his lunch and the newsmagazine propped up beside his plate, he didn't even appear to be aware of her eyes on him. Yet, Karyn did not doubt for one minute that Adam knew she was watching him; she was the only one who seemed to notice that the young man noticed and observed far more than he ever let on.
Years of living with Martin and Sadie Newman gave him an incredible amount of acting skill. Adam could turn from innocently charming to cuttingly bitter in the blinking of an eye. He had gotten worse-- not better in the year since Tara's death.
And Dr. Leone said that he was fine.
"Adam has made remarkable progress. He's dealing with the death of Tara on a level that I wouldn't have expected from a young man of his age and temperament. His grieving process is proceeding much more normally now, and there is really no need to continue these visits."
Karyn watched the sixteen-year-old casually flip the page, his dark eyes scanning each word of the Time article on-- of all things-- grief. Amazing how no one seemed to realize that he told Dr. Leone precisely what the woman wanted to hear; he told everyone precisely what they wanted to hear. He cried on cue, and argued when expected. He followed all the documented and textbook symptoms that one should follow through the grieving process. Adam Michael Newman had fooled everyone-- everyone except her.
Instead of coping, he had retreated into himself. He was building walls around him at every opportunity-- seeing less and less of his old friends, becoming less involved in the world around him. Karyn had hoped that his friendship/relationship with that American girl, Danielle would have added some brightness to his life and lifted him from the edges of misery that he lingered on. Yet, last he commented, Danielle was dating Brett, and Adam was valiantly pretending not to care. He had stubbornly refused to discuss it with her, the first sign that it was getting harder and harder even for her to wiggle her way into the chinks in those walls he was working so hard to build. And that worried her.
But Martin Newman felt that the psychologist was a brilliant waste of money. After all, she was only a woman, and if she couldn't dispose Adam of his foolishly stubborn interest in art, then she was useless. Besides, one of Martin Newman's children couldn't need psychological counseling.
That's precisely why Tara was dead.
"So, Adam, have you given any more thought to the University?"
"Not really." He didn't look up, giving a simple shrug to his shoulders. "Dad said I couldn't study art, so what's the point?"
"You don't really mean that, Adam."
He looked up at her, his dark eyes shadowed. "Yeah, Kar, I do." Adam stared at her for a moment, then closed the magazine. A scowl etched itself into his face as he leaned back in his seat and folded his arms across his chest. "So, when are you going to tell them?"
Them. Their parents.
"Tell them what?"
"About Mark." He startled her then by reaching across the table and grabbing her left hand. As he did, he turned it upwards, the diamond marquis on her ring finger reflecting the light. "About this."
Karyn flinched. She had forgotten how observant Adam could be. Martin didn't approve of Mark because Mark was American, because Mark didn't come from a "good" family. But it had been love at first sight and the moment that he proposed, the word "no" never crossed her mind. She didn't wear the ring around their parents; she wasn't ready to explain yet-- or to deal with her father.
She stared down at her hand, studying the glittering jewel. "I haven't decided yet."
"Dad won't like it. He hates Mark."
The bitterness in his voice caused her to look up at him. His mouth was frowned in a wrinkle of distaste, and his eyes were flashing with-- anger.
Adam was angry with her.
Suddenly, his growing distance and his coldness made sense. From the moment she had introduced him to Mark, things hadn't been the same between them. He'd come to depend on Karyn this past year, depend on her nearly as much as he had on Tara. And she had allowed it.
Perhaps that had been her mistake.
"I don't think you like Mark either," Karyn spoke the words very softly, holding his gaze. Sometimes, one never knew how to step with Adam.
Karyn could almost see the walls come up, his face and eyes becoming emotionless and unreadable. Adam shrugged. "I think that you can do better."
"Mark is a really nice guy. I think that if you just gave him a chance--"
"It's not my life, Karyn. Marry whoever you want." He scooped up his plate and stood in one fluid motion. "Just don't drag me into the middle of it."
"You aren't losing me, Adam." Was it her imagination, or did his he falter for one moment as he strode away from her. "I'll always be here for you, you know that."
"Yeah, I know." The words were clipped.
Karyn watched his retreating form, reminded once again that Adam was just a young boy, and that he was hurting. He fought so hard to hide it all, and bury it, but it wouldn't go away. Tara was dead, had been for almost a year, and now in his mind--
Karyn followed him to the kitchen.
Her younger brother stood with his back to her, dutifully washing his dishes. His weekend in the city was almost over-- tomorrow she would put him back on a train to their parents and not see him until the holidays. How much pain and bitterness would he turn on himself in that short time?
"Adam, don't shut me out. Let's talk about this."
"There's nothing to talk about. You're getting married."
"Because I love Mark, and he makes me happy. Not because I want to hurt you." She placed her hands on his shoulders, gently turning him to face her. Funny, she had never really noticed how he'd grown in the past year; he was eye level with her now, his face leaner and not as full of boyish cuteness. But it was Adam's eyes that haunted her; how could anyone look into those eyes and not realize that Adam would never, ever be completely well? Life for him would never be anything that anyone considered normal.
The tortured artist. That's what Tara used to call him. Karyn wondered if her younger sister had ever known how close to the mark her words were.
"What makes you think I care?"
The words were meant to hurt her, but Karyn knew better. She recognized the way he shifted, avoiding eye contact. She felt him stiffen at her touch.
"I know that we've really depended on each other this last year, Adam. It hasn't been easy for either of us. And I want nothing more in the world than to see you happy and whole again, baby brother. I never want to hurt you, but I can't live my whole life in Martin Newman's shadow."
"Yeah, you're the lucky one. You have that choice." He wasn't looking at her; his eyes were focused on some point on the linoleum. He slapped stubbornly at his cheek, batting away a tear.
"So do you, Adam."
"No, I don't. I'm the only thing left that he can control." Adam shifted, clenching his fists. "I mean, he won't even allow me to move here with you. Sometimes, I wish--"
When he raised his head to her, the pain in his eyes broke her heart in half. "I wish I could be half as happy as you, Kar."
"Adam, you can," Karyn cupped his face in her hands, her voice soft. "You just have to find what makes you happy and pursue with your heart, never mind our father or mother. You--"
"Why?" Adam choked on his words, his voice thick.
"Why what?"
"Why do you care so much? No one else does."
"Oh, Adam, Adam." Karyn smoothed her hand over his dark hair, so much like their father's and so little like the blonde she shared with their mother. "I care because I love you. I will always love you, baby brother. And you will always be welcome in my home. I can get married, or have children, or move halfway around the world, and I will always care."
She hugged him, coaxing out the tears that he was too afraid to shed, crying tears of her own. And even though he cried, Karyn still felt the distance between them, the walls that couldn't be breached. Adam had been through so much, suffered so much pain that she wondered if he would ever lose the scars.
By the time he boarded the train the next morning, he was his usual self. Or as usual as Adam got these days. He kissed her cheek, and gave her a bright smile, but there was a darkness in his eyes that was unfathomable.
He was a little boy lost, and Karyn wondered if he would ever find his way home.
-- End --