Things I Would Do If I Had Psi Abilities
by Michael Edmonds

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Teleportation
• Progressive parties. Entree in London, Mains in Paris, Dessert in Melbourne, Coffee in New York.
• New years in London AND New York by concorde. Well try New Years in Auckland AND Melbourne AND Tokyo AND Moscow AND New York AND San Francisco AND Hawaii by teleport.
• When trying on clothes you could pop home for a second opinion.
• Buy winter clothes for the southern hemisphere at end of winter sales in the northern hemisphere and vice versa.
• World wide autograph hunting and concert going - no problem.
• Learn to ski in Switzerland.
• Learn to cook in France.
• Get books (e.g. Magnificat) as soon as they are published. Pop into the printers for a preview maybe.
• How many second hand bookshops are there in the world? Enough said!

Telekinesis
• Always win coin tosses,
• Tie together shoelaces of anyone you don't like
• That 'third hand' you always seem to need for cooking
• Retrieving books from those always too high library shelves.
• Removing 6 month old food from the back of the refrigerator.
• Reign supreme over the television even though you don't have the remote (and frustrate the hell out of whoever does have it).
• Juggle 20 balls/steak knifes/chainsaws at the same time!
• Remove hot items from the oven.
• Move someone peas around their plate as they try to put them on their fork.
• Eat your soup with a fork.
• Depress the receiver when your sisters phonecall exceeds two hours.
• Always get the number you need on a dice during board games!
• Hammer in nails without getting a sore thumb.
• Grow long nails and still be able to use a typewriter.
• Easier wrapping christmas presents.

Pyrokinesis
• For people you don't like... melt their chocolate covered ice cream from the inside out.
• No more cold coffee.
• Defrost the freezer.
• Get your fire lit first at Scout camp.
• Fresh popcorn - Anytime, Anywhere.

Telepathy
• Know whether the sales assistant really does think you look great in that dress or whether she thinks you look like you're dressed in a curtain.