On the edge of awake.

People talking, whispering,
at me
at each other
at God for all I can tell.

"Are you still with us?"

I close my eyes to find them
open.
How did that happen?
When...

noses in focus now,
mouths in focus now,
two
maybe three.
Fuzzy faces --
where are my glasses?
I can't see their eyes.

"...still with us?"

Did you say something?

"Oh, the radio is playing Oingo Boingo."

"I've always liked them."

"Good God, this one has like nine roots on it."

Rubbing my hands on my jeans,
texture of denim against sweat,
of blue against...
I think I shook my head.

"Should I get her mother?"

What order did that happen in?

"Are you still...?"

I'm awake.
The pain will start soon.
I think I'm awake.
They said they would put me to
sleep
I don't want to be awake.
I think.

"Are you...?"

You should have left me asleep.

"You should have left me asleep."

I just said that.

I remember,
staring at the faces,
trying to count noses.
Something about Oingo Boingo.
That's not who's on the radio.
What was I counting?

I just dreamt that.

"I don't want to give directions while she's like this."

"Go get her mother."

"Are you still with us?"