To go to the top of the page, click the at the end of each limerick, to return to the index page click the Someone for Me 2/2/1999 I knew he was waiting for me. Our lives are aligned -- meant to be.   Alas! I found out   (And now have no doubt.) He died in 1863. ..... Horses 2/3/1999 The horse is a beautiful thing. I find that they frequently bring   A tear to my eye   When they start and shy And stomp my foot on the downswing. ..... Beau? 2/4/1999 I smooth both my hands down his back Then his arms, they take up the slack.   He snuggles me close   And says, "Hold your nose While I tie the top of the sack." ..... Gardening 2/8/1999 They say what you sow you will reap. So, I planted dollars way deep.   I have had no luck   Have not grown a buck -- Do you think that George is asleep? {a fool and her money ...} ..... Brains 2/15/1999 I have got good lumps on my head. Considering having them read:   But they would just say   My brain's in the way. The truth about my smarts has spread. 3/28/1999 My brain has been slow as a snail So I'm keeping it in a pail   With plant food and water   I think that should oughter Fix up my brain waves without fail. 3/29/1999 I'm keeping my brain in a bucket. I think that perhaps with some luck it   Will get nice and clean   And much less obscene. Then back in my head I will tuck it. ..... Doctor Visit 2/17/1999 I hurried so not to be late To discover what is my fate.   The doc does not care   How long you sit there, If he's not the one that must wait. ..... Blue Heart 2/18/1999 When my heart is broken and blue And I can think only of you,   You know what I think?   I think that you stink I know that the fault is with you. {so, there, too :þþ} ..... Local Politics 2/25/1999 The little old men in Salt Lake Are hardly, if ever, awake.   They rule while asleep.   We follow like sheep. I hope they don't make a mistake. ..... Housekeeping 3/6/1999 My housekeeping skills don't exist. To clean is not hard to resist   Don't scrub -- it's a bore.   It's all such a chore -- The dirt and I just coexist. I'm not just not clean; I'm a mess. Where's my floor? That's anyone's guess.   I issue a shovel   When you're at my hovel -- To put away things causes stress. {difficult choice: stress or plague?} ..... Allix Says 3/17/1999 "Please Marnene, come play on my seesaw!" My sis says, "She's gone back to Utah."   Pronouns are not clear   To Allix I fear: "My Marnene has gone back to Me-tah?" ..... Bargain Hunter 4/12/1999 I live in a hole in the wall. Occasionally I run down the hall.   I aggravate folks   Who try to make jokes About having mice in the mall. ..... New Bathroom 5/14/1999 I'm having my bathroom redone Truth is, I'm getting a new one   They'll tear it all out   And I have no doubt That going without won't be fun. {or very likely, won't be possible!} ..... No Fur 5/15/1999 We all know that weasels are vermin. (Except in the winter they're ermine.)   But still, weasels stink   And so do those mink. This is my do-not-wear-fur sermon. ..... Middle Ages 5/21/1999 Dressed up in his doublet and hose Sir Francis Drake struck a brave pose   But his pose was spoiled   'Cause his clothes were soiled, Therefore, he was holding his nose. ..... Summer Sleeping 6/14/1999 I'm sleeping sans jammies again It's awkward this time of year when   The night is too hot .   By morning it's not So, I put my jammies on then. ..... Weedicide 6/14/99 With murder in mind I embark On my secret mission at dark.   My progress impeded   I just should have weeded -- With poison now I'll make my mark. With Roundup™ I spray all the weeds I'm killing them all -- and their seeds.   I'll turn a blind eye   They'll wither and die. The night sky will hide my dark deeds. ..... Weeds Again 6/22/1999 The Thistle's out cruisin' for Chickweed. Along comes a sweet little Hayseed.   Let's cross-pollinate!   And now it's too late. Took seconds to do the misdeed. {now I've got more weeds than you can shake the herbicide can at} ..... Four-Year-Old Nights 8/3/1999 She fiddles around in the dark A puppy pretending to bark.   Bags under my eyes   Are three times their size. She certainly has made her mark. ..... Fast Food 8/11/1999 I don't eat food sponsored by dogs I don't think it's from cows or hogs   It's probably cat   ('Cause dogs would love that) Besides it does not smell like frogs. ..... Socks 8/29/1999 My sock has a seam at the toe. I know how they are s'posed to go.   Convention I flout -   Wear mine inside out So they won't make toe blisters grow. ..... Paperball 8/29/1999 I played paper-wad basketball But could not get my shots to fall.   The room is a sight   But that is alright - The maid cleans it up, after all. {out of town living has some things to recommend it!} ..... Smelly Water 8/29/1999 The water here in Irvine stinks, So I have been buying me drinks.   I can't hardly walk   Don' ask me to talk An' my eyeballs hurts when I blinks. .....