THE VIEW FROM A WELL

Brent Anderson

Autism can be a profound disability, leaving its victims in varying states of isolation from the world. The causes of these abnormalities are generally not genetic, but rather some chance organizational missteps that occur during gestation. Such occurrences are not surprising in light of the organizational complexities inherent to the human body and the fantastically intricate production of a human from a single fertilized egg. The marvel is that it occurs infrequently. Small organizational irregularities probably occur in all of our bodies and usually go unnoticed through life, but the accidents that cause autism occur in the brain where the effects can be profound. Comparative studies of identical twins have shown that identical genetic potentials do not yield perfectly identical individuals. The differences found may be attributed to molecular level expressions of the uncertainty principle, and the random variations of human genetic potentials that express themselves differently in each individual.

There is one exception to this non-heritable diagnosis for Autism, and that is Aspergers Syndrome (AS), which is an inherited trait. This genetic potential generally yields intelligent individuals with varying degrees of inability to understand social cues and conventions, along with a variety of other potential mental and physical disabilities. These individuals should not be confused with the normal shy end of the human spectrum who are generally able to read social cues, even if they are unwilling or afraid to act on them. An individual with Aspergers or autism, either one, may have difficulty understanding when it is appropriate to talk, listen, hug or love. It is extremely hard for a "normal" to understand for they usually are not aware of the amount of information they read in the nuances of social interaction.

I compare individuals with either form of autism in their myriad forms of expression to a hypothetical group of people who live in wells. The bottom of a well offers a perspective that is limited to the surrounding earth or rock, and an opening to the sky above, but if the well is deep enough even the celestial opening would become invisible. This later condition can be compared to those with severe autism, wherein there is no discernible interaction with the outside world. On the other hand those with less disability could be compared to individuals who are limited to a narrow opening to the sky. Obviously such an impoverished environment restricts the amount of sensory information available to an individual compared with the norm, but he or she would probably know far more about that narrow band of information than most others. Those with Aspergers Syndrome might be compared to well dwellers whose head clears the surface allowing a seemingly unrestricted view. To these people the world of information and data are available but they have limitations with regard to understanding the social cues and movements of the mobile surface dwellers.

This state is usually maddening to these individuals for their intellect is usually above normal in most regards, and they understand that they at times behave inappropriately but usually have not a clue what they do wrong in any one instance. The net result is that they feel cut off from the rest of the world and usually opt for silence and inaction to get them through the minefield of human social nuance. Some even learn to consciously read what is unconsciously evident to most but even so their timing is usually off. Others are slow processors of spoken language and become confused by fast speech or distractions that divert them, from the full focus they need to process speech. There are unlimited permutations with regards to mental abilities and disabilities within the ranks of the Autistic, so much so that no one could ever mention them all.

The author is an AS or high-level autistic. Within my own family there are a number of individuals who have also inherited this genetic potential. As I write of the view from the well it is with some knowledge of the situation. I have been able to function within the culture of the norm using various stratagems. I have never been comfortable in any social situation whether work, school, or church. What seems to me as the easy natural way the social norm (not to mention the gifted) move through life and work will always remain a mystery. I recognize that it is not necessarily intelligence or knowledge that leads them to seemingly effortless success, but some (to me) unfathomable social chemistry.

This is not a complaint for my lot or that of the thousands of others in the same situation but rather an explanation to the normal why I or we act somewhat differently. The majority of the hurt felt by those with Autism comes from the fact that we understand so much of what goes on around us on an intellectual basis only to be tormented daily by the obvious fact that we are generally deficient in what is arguably the most important human trait which is social interaction. While most of the subtle insults may be over our heads and go unrecognized, those garnered from youthful antagonists tend to be less subtle. A natural consequence is that we ostracize ourselves and secondarily are ostracized from society to varying degrees. We are not society’s dross or generally its criminals (it requires social ability to fit in a gang). The list of accomplishments for those so challenged is long, and our ranks include many great scholars including Albert Einstein. So perhaps you, the normal, will forgive us our childlike, guileless, clumsy, and bumbling ways. We generally mean no offense and are usually mystified when we find we have given such.