Part 1
Upon landing at Narita International Airport, I was pleased to hear that the Godzilla Detection System was at its lowest setting. This fact gave me much to consider on my train trips up to Sendai. As interested as I am in Godzilla, I decided I wasn't that interested in meeting him. He's got radioactive blood you know and that sort of thing can be bad for your health.
By the time I arrived in Sendai, I had been traveling for twenty hours. I was tired, sweaty, sore and tired. In that order. I was expecting to see Eric but Katy met me first in the station. Needless to say, this was an improvement. Eric showed up as well as a bonus. They dragged me along to my hotel. Then I dragged myself back to the station for a snack. Then I dragged myself back to my hotel room. There I sat and finally relaxed while I picked the gravel from my person. You pick up a lot of stuff dragging around like that, none of it good.
Tuesday it rained. It rained so much that the day was called on account of rain. Luckily they didn't call the night because that allowed us to go get something to eat and to tell a few hundred stories, chief among them the story of the midget, the bowl of chocolate syrup and Moppy. Eric laughed so hard that milk shot from his nose. We drank nothing stronger than milk that night: 100 proof milk.
Wednesday was the day of no Katy. It wasn't that she stopped existing; she just had work to do. Eric took me along to visit the gravesite of the gentleman that founded the city we were in. He died years ago so there wasn't a crowd or anything. It was here that everything started to happenx
The mausoleum area was a piece of forest atop a hill in the midst of the city. It was quite a sizable area of greenery for the middle of a Japanese city, not unlike placing a section of parkland down in SimCity. We paid our respects to the fallen Da'te and wandered about the other gravesites trying to be polite. We were on the opposite side of the area (I swear!) when the ground shook. I immediately thought earthquake, but the sound of an explosion made us both turn. A large black shape flew from the ground near the Da'te's gravesite into the air. It flew into the distance in a northerly direction. It looked vaguely like a bat, but with a pterodactyl's head. I turned to Eric. "You know they're gonna blame this on us white guys."
"No doubt."
Luckily they didn't blame it on us. The police did ask us some questions, which we managed to understand and tried to answer. They seemed to accept what we told them and allowed us to leave. We managed to catch the last bus back into town and headed for a small back alley building with rock climbing walls. Here I met some of KT and E's friends and we managed not to kill ourselves.
I watched the news but saw nothing of the bat-like creature we saw. I decided they were either trying to prevent a panic from setting in before a holiday weekend or they hadn't identified the creature as of yet. Come to the people with all the facts, no half measures, that's what I say.
Wednesday we hopped on a train going north, met up with a couple of the friends met the day before and stopped on the ocean in Matsushima. I think. The sun was pretty bright so as far as I know I was on Lake Michigan. Well, I take that back, they don't grow seaweed in Lake Michigan. I don't think so at least.
The seaweed farm was one of the things Erock pointed out on the ferry ride out into the ocean. "That there. That's coral."
"Cool." We looped around and started heading for shore. "So what's that out there?"
Eric squinted at the bubbles I had pointed to out on the ocean. "I'm not sure."
The bubbles boiled harder until a grayish green spiky fin broke the surface. "Coral?"
"Seems unlikely."
Suddenly, he heaved his head above the water, a leathery face covered in angry. In stereo, Eric and I muttered vulgarities from the shock. "Godzilla!" As if on cue, he roared. The irony didn't make me feel much better. Especially as the mighty wave of water his rising had generated was heading right towards usx
* * *
A loud declaration was made from the ship's speakers which was translated to me as 'Hold on tight!' I did not need to be told twice. Those of us on the open deck raced into the closed area of the upper deck. The doors were slammed shut immediately behind us. Quickly we dashed into the booths and braced for impact. The mighty wave slammed into the ferry, lifting it crazily. The sensation was similar to riding a roller coaster or an elevator that dropped too fast. My stomach dropped and no longer felt attached to my person. Then the ferry slammed back into the water and I was suddenly aware of all the bits of my body. My stomach was back and churning like the ocean outside. Luckily for us the ferry hadn't been pointed towards any of the nearby islands and didn't impact with any of them. The captain did his best (assuming it was a he, we didn't meet) to get us back to port before another big wave could get near us.
Once we were docked people streamed from the boat. I took a moment before departing to see what Godzilla was doing. Thankfully, he seemed to be heading northwest and not directly at us. In amongst all the fear I felt at that moment, there was a hint of awe as well. Godzilla is huge; easily the biggest . . . object I've ever seen. The fact that he moves and fights and everything when scientifically he shouldn't be able to exist, well, it's hard to not be at least a little impressed.
Luckily for us the train arrived to return us in the direction of Sendai, the opposite direction that the Kaiju was traveling in, and we took the opportunity to hop on and zip away. Our companions hopped off near their place in order to prepare for potential departure and we continued on to Sendai. "The question is, now what should we do?" Katy pondered.
A light went on in my head. "We head for my hotel."
"Why there?"
"Because we can turn on the news there."
"But we can watch the big screen across from the train station and see the news there. They'll be broadcasting due to the emergency."
"True, but at the hotel I can change clothes."
Eric grinned. "Did Godzilla surprise you that much?"
"No. I'd like to put on my thinking clothes. I've got a bit of an idea and it needs working out."
"Thinking clothes?" Katy looked a little concerned.
"They're safe for public consumption, not to worry. Come on." Perhaps reluctantly they followed me.
Once inside my hotel room, I grabbed the necessary garments and dashed into the bathroom. I could hear the TV from there but it meant nothing to me. Changing into my thinking gear calmed me. By the time I was changed, I had a plan of action in mind and boy was it a pip. "Okay, it's sorted," I announced upon exiting the bathroom, "Here's what we need to do."
The plan was not their first concern at this point; I was their first item of concern. Eric smiled. "I didn't know you actually had those clothes."
"You are dressier this way," Katy admitted.
I looked down at my clothes. Black dress pants, black dress socks, black dress shoes, cream coloured long sleeved Oxford short with red questions marks sewn on the collars and over it all a long tan trenchcoat. "What's wrong with this?"
"Nothing I guess."
"So long as I don't start up with the fake British accent, I think we are all safe," which would have meant more if I hadn't said it in my fake British accent. And so, while attempting to channel the Doctor, we headed off and I explained my plan: head for the bunkers.
Back in the eighties, Japan had money rolling in hand over fist, whatever that means. Since they had all this money lying about they decided to do something to protect the people against the natural disasters that tended to plague the island nation: earthquakes, typhoons and Kaiju. All the major cities in Japan had bunkers built in or near them for the populace to go to in the event of emergency. Since Godzilla and that other creature were somewhere in the relative area, we might feel safer there. I knew the bunkers still existed because I read an article last year in G-Fan about a guy who toured one. I even knew that the local one was called Hachi Heisei, the eighth one built during the last Emperor's reign. What I didn't know was how to get there. Luckily Katy and Eric did and, after a brief and occasionally loud discussion, we headed off. After a brief subway ride (I was slightly surprised that all the public transportation was still available but, afterall, the Kaiju weren't fighting near us or anything) and a bit of a walk, we were there, welcomed inside and sitting comfortably on a bench watching more TV news that I couldn't understand.
"Godzilla's still heading north," Katy translated after a while. "They haven't identified the other creature yet but they're assuming that Godzilla's heading for it."
"Something weird must have happened," I mused. "I was under the impression that most Godzilla sightings were in the December/January timeframe."
"Most," Eric pointed out, "not all."
"True, true."
A pair of gentlemen entered the large room. I glanced in their direction. They wore a gray work uniform (I rather think every job in Japan has a uniform) with a gray cap. One held a small piece of electronic equipment and they watched it as they walked around the room. They stopped holding my interest and I returned my attention to the television where they were showing clips from Godzilla's previous trips to Japan. That was interesting, also suddenly very real and frightening, but interesting.
A beeping distracted me. The gentlemen in gray were in front of me with their electronic beeping box and smiling politely at me. I smiled and nodded slightly. They started talking and I was immediately clueless. "I'd tip my hat but I'm not wearing it. Can anyone lend a hand?"
"They're asking you to come with them," Katy translated.
"In a good way or a bad way? I already told the police we didn't release that other creature."
"I think it's a good thing."
"Well, tell them you two are coming with me. Just in case."
We followed them down the hall to some sort of laboratory where I was pointed out to an older man and a younger pretty lady. They seemed to be confused or something and continued to burble at the men in gray. I leaned towards Katy. "Lend a hand, are they mad?"
"No, I don't think so. It's something about you being the one and they don't seem to think you should be?"
"The One?" I echoed. "I only watched the first of those movies and I didn't think it was that good."
The pretty lab lady walked up and smiled at us. Or me. I'd like to think me but under the circumstances it was probably us. "You do not speak Japanese?"
"Not in any helpful sort of way. There are times where English isn't the easiest thing in the world for me."
"Then I apologize for discussing you in your presence. It appears you activated one of our sensors."
"Not an alarm?" She shook her head. "Alarms are bad. A sensor could be a good thing."
"I suppose that depends on how you define 'good'. The sensor indicates your compatibility with this." She turned and nodded at her colleague. He nodded back and clicked a switch. One of the walls lifted, displaying a window and a larger room beyond. Pretty Lab Lady gestured for us to step closer to the window, so we did.
"Sweet Christmas!" I yelped.
"Oh my gosh!" Katy added.
"Holy crap!" Eric noted.
The room beyond was stories upon stories tall. It held an incredibly large white robot. "The rumours were true," I muttered. "They did build the Hogosha."
"Yes," Pretty Lab Lady replied. "And our sensors indicate that you are capable of piloting it to guard us against the Kaiju."
"Me?" I sounded unconvinced. "Oh dear, we are in trouble aren't we?"
* * *
Over the course of my existence, I have been chastised many times for laughing at times deemed by others to be inappropriate. My sense of humour has been tweaked over the years to the point where sufficient irony or absurdity amuses me no matter what the situation or what level of trouble I am currently in. I am better at reading situations and controlling my reaction than I was when I was a younger person but certain situations simply demand laughter. Sitting in the command chair of a forty-some-odd-story tall robot whilst dressed as my version of a popular British science fiction character is pretty absurd. So I laughed.
The comm link to the bunker laboratory was still open. "Is everything okay there?" Kyoko asked. Kyoko would be the name of the young lady I was referring to recently as Pretty Lab Lady. In another moment of restraint that I find comes easier with age, I refrained from noting 'Hey, that's my cat's name too!' once we were introduced. I am reasonably reassured that (1) she doesn't care that I have a cat or that (2) they share a name in common. Had I made that verbal notation, I'm sure she would have said something polite in response, much like the young lady at my hotel did after I muttered to Eric that she was cute and he, being altogether too used to being around people that don't speak English, loudly agreed with me that she was cute while she was still in front of us.
Since Eric being a goof is not the point of my story, I shall refocus my attention. Here I am in the command chair of a mecha, wearing my Doctor gear, feeling silly and amused because I'm here due to hackers. Hang on, I didn't tell you about that bit, did I? Well, let's fix that.
We asked about my compatibility with the robot and how such a thing could have happened because, oddly enough, it was a surprise to us. Mostly me I think. The way they explained it was to tell a little story, which I will do my best to repeat. Now, in the eighties and early nineties, when they were openly building these bunkers they were building the mecha in secret. There were two main reasons for this secrecy: they didn't want to start an arms race in mecha and they didn't think the people of Japan would need to know about the mecha until they were already built. Do the governments of the world explain to everyone else what kind of weapons they are working on while they're working on them? No. So this secrecy was meant to be nothing special.
Somehow the secret slipped out. This might explain the rumours I'd read and heard. Once the mecha were complete, they were going to be locked to their primary user by a brainwave calibration, especially easy since the piloting of the mecha was to be done by thought command. There were backdoor ways to clear the brainwave of the user for when the user retired or died so that the mecha could be used again. Well, before the robots could have their users set up, bad evil hackers (at the very least misguided) introduced a virus into their mainframe, which got into the mecha before it was noticed. The virus randomly locked the brainwave patterns for the mecha and locked the back door behind it. So not only were the trained pilots unable to use their mecha but the techs couldn't clear the patterns to reset everything. For years they've tried to clear up the effects of the virus but it's used the all the safety measures they set up against them. Plan B was to regularly scan for brainwave patterns similar to the settings in the mecha and that's where I come into the picture. Lucky me with the strange brainwaves! Woo-hoo!
My training has been brief. The displays before me will feed me with information. I should use this information to request further information or order a course of action. The mecha will respond to the best of its ability. I was warned that, due to the size of the mecha, I shouldn't expect immediate movement. So, if Godzilla is right on top of me, I may not be able to dodge as promptly as I hope. Comfortingx
"We are feeding the mecha with the current locations of the Kaiju," Kyoko reported from the lab. "Are you ready?"
"As ready as I expect I shall get."
"We will open the hanger. Please do not attempt to take off until the hanger is open."
"A very reasonable request." The waiting was starting to make me twitchy and sweaty. This is not a good combination.
Eric grabbed the mic. "Dude, go kick some Kaiju [butt]."
"That's the plan."
"I wish I could come along."
"That would be fun but there really isn't room for passengers in here."
Katy took a turn at the mic while I watch the hanger doors open on one of my screens. "Steve, please be careful."
"Also part of the plan."
"Good luck!"
"Thanks."
There was a loud clang. Kyoko confirmed what I was thinking. "The hanger doors are open. You are cleared for take-off."
I took a deep breath and let it free. "Smoke me a kipper; I'll be back for breakfast." To my new robot friend I thought "Okay, transform and roll out!"
Rockets engaged and roared. We're flying north of Matsushima to deal with Kaiju. Life is beautifully crazy, isn't it?
* * *
I learned that, when you are flying in a forty-some-odd-story tall robot, you don't feel the movement. The thing's too big to feel anything unless it's a sudden course correction. It's kinda like being in an airplane really; there's no way to feel the speed at which you are traveling.
The mecha landed near the ocean, between the ocean and the Kaiju battle. Almost immediately upon landing the robot's sensors started feeding me information about the battle before me so I could decide how we could interject us into it. The Kaiju that emerged from the Da'te's grave didn't look quite like the glimpse I'd seen the other day. As I'd thought about the image I had in my head regarding that creature I wondered if it had been a Rodan. Now that I had a better look at the creature, I could see the differences. This new creature did have bat-like wings instead of the Pterodactyl styled wings of a Rodan. Both creatures had a head that looked too big for the neck supporting it. While Rodan's head was thin and long, this new creature's head was short and bulky. And ugly, so very ugly.
And then it was gone. Godzilla ripped the creature's head from its scrawny neck. Black ooze poured from the wound as the creature's body fell limp and dead to the ground. Godzilla roared triumphantly and turned towards the ocean.
A number of conclusions popped into my head all at once. Godzilla likes to defend his turf: Japan. He either ignores or allows the humans to exist, as they pose no threat to his sovereignty as King of the Monsters. This is likely his reason for visiting land today. Godzilla has just seen my mecha (which really needs a name). Godzilla tends to consider mecha as a threat. Godzilla will likely fight me. If I had not suggested going to the bunker, Godzilla would have killed that thing and returned happily to the ocean. Instead, he's going to kick my [butt]. I so should have slept in today.
Rather kindly, the mecha displayed Godzilla's look at us on a screen and enlarged it so I could see his face. His mouth dripped black goo. His eyes were wild with excitement and rage. He snorted smoke from his nose. He roared again and charged us.
Under the circumstances, I think I reacted very normally. I panicked and froze. Godzilla slammed into us with his mighty shoulder, knocking us to the ground. The stabilizers weren't able to disguise that movement; I felt us crash to the ground and enjoyed none of it. Luckily, this focused my attention. I managed to get the robot upright and managed to fend off Godzilla's claws as he swiped at us. However, I didn't notice the tail in time and that knocked us away, back into the nearby (relatively anyway) mountain. While we shook this off, I swear I saw Godzilla knock the dust from his hands in a satisfied sort of way before charging at us again.
The modular weapon pack on the robot's back began to hum with activity. Sensors reinforced that it was arranging something. This was odd to me because I didn't remember giving the mech any orders to do anything like that. At the moment, I had bigger things to worry about. I fired the boot jets and leapt over the oncoming Godzilla, spun and landed behind him. He crashed into the mountain, but quickly shook that off and stood to face me. A loud ping alerted me to the fact that the modular weapon pack had completed its task. The robot reached back and drew forward our weapon.
There comes a time in every relationship when you realize that a person you know is now your friend. You might have been friends for awhile and the other person involved may have already understood this but there's almost always a moment when you realize that you two are cool with each other. Perhaps you discover that you both like the same TV show and spend two hours talking about it. Perhaps they greet your appearance with more enthusiasm than you expected such as by leaping into your arms to give you a big hug. Perhaps it's a conversation, not for what you talk about, but just because you realize you can carry on a conversation with your friend's spouse and it's not forced. Whatever it is, you know you are friends.
The mecha reached into its weapon pack and pulled out a ten-story tall black folding chair. It knows my weapon of choice. We are friends.
Godzilla stands up and the mecha pokes him in the belly with the folding chair, doubling him over. The mecha then lifts the chair high in the air and smashes it down over Godzilla's upper back. The impact no doubt set off a sonic boom. Godzilla crashed to the ground. In a moment of celebration, I direct the mecha to do a little air guitar move on the folding chair. Wooo!
This did little to stun the King of Monsters however. He climbed back to his feet and directed a Very Mad Look Indeed at us. He roared and ran. As he was directly in front of us, there was no time to dodge. His momentum carried us over the cliff and into the ocean.
The mecha went crazy with alarms at this point. One large red button flashed. When I did nothing, an arrow started pointing at the large red button. Then the word 'EJECT' appeared. I took the hint and hit the large red button. I was sucked from the command chair, encased in a plastic bubble (like a gashapon) and launched from the mecha. Somewhere around here I blacked out from the speed.
I awoke on a bed. "Oh thank goodness! He's up."
"Are you okay?"
"I had the strangest dream," I noted. I pointed to Katy. "You were there." I pointed to Eric. "And you were there." I pointed to Kyoko. "And you werex Oh, then it wasn't a dream then."
Kyoko frowned. "Is he okay?"
Eric smiled. "If he's quoting movies, I'm sure he's fine."
"What happened?"
"You and Godzilla fell into the ocean. You ejected from the mecha. We have no trace on the mecha or Godzilla at the moment."
"Umm, sorry I lost your mecha."
"To be honest, every other time we've deployed them, they've been destroyed. We don't really expect to get them back. It does have homing capabilities so it will return if it can."
"Well that's good."
"At least for now, the danger is passed."
I filled out some paperwork ('Loss of Mecha' reports and the like) and then we could go. We celebrated our survival with really good Italian food and karaoke. Then we went to our homes and slept the sleep of the deserving, knowing we earned it, resting up for what the next day would bringx
Epilogue:
The mecha did have homing capabilities in it. Unfortunately for them it didn't go to its home, it went to mine. I have since discovered that when I said 'Transform and roll out' I didn't know how accurate I was being. So now I have a nice new (well, new apart from it being about twenty years old and having been in a fight with Godzilla) white car. Life is strange. I love it.
