The tyranist's thoughts
Anyone not firmly committed to the slasher genre will in all likelihood loathe this movie. It is the only pure slasher I've seen in a couple years and offers nothing for anyone else to enjoy. Unless you like looking at the pretty women. There is that.
The movie opens in a scene directly from my childhood wherein a nerd asks several pretentious girls to dance and is rejected by all of them. Then he asks the fat girl, she says yes, but later accuses him of attacking her. Flash forward 13 years and all the girls are now successful women. But one by one someone is killing them. I wonder who it could be.
There isn't much to distinguish this one from the rest of the slashers out there except that it is perhaps the smartest production of the bunch. The acting is good and the script is really quite nice. There are quite a few tense moments and a couple of jumpy ones. Really, the movie comes across slicker than the vast majority of its cousins.
Red herrings abound in this one but any long time fan will probably pick through to the truth relatively early. Don't be surprised if a couple times they make you doubt though. Of course, I hope you aren't like the people who sat behind me and shouted out, "I knew it was her," when a red herring was dropped like an anchor in their laps.
If you really like the slashers you owe it to yourself to check this one out. It isn't the greatest, but you should have a pretty good time.
Posted: February 2nd, 2001

Rish's Reviews
Director Jamie Blanks, whose other movie Urban Legend I didn't care for at all, really topped himself with Valentine, a movie I despised.
Nearly all scenes and character actions feel immensely scripted and completely unnatural. The pacing was off, like time-filler, from the victims investigating, to the chase scenes that went on too long. There was no good or memorable dialogue. There's too many characters that don't define themselves or generate sympathy. Katherine Hiegl is lookin' good in her all-too-familiar opening cameo/death. The star, Marley Shelton, perhaps cloned from Heather Graham's DNA, nevertheless exudes a certain decent likability, aside from the obvious beauty. Denise Richards? Well, she exudes the complete opposite. Let's hope she's never involved in an accident that leaves her only with her talent.
But I tried to find some positive in it, as I always do. The lighting and production design was slick. The red herrings kept me guessing, but ultimately made no sense. Blanks did manage to outdo Urban Legend in one aspect: the cherub mask the killer wears, while not scary per se, is at least more effective than his parka-clad killer. But I'm at a loss for more.
Though the killings are diverse (and the weapons vary from knife to iron to glass shards to arrows to electrocution), none generate any suspense, and there's a disturbing lack of gore (welcome to the 21st Century, kids). The ending left me both confused and dissatisfied. I may be a little harder on today's slashers than on those from the golden age, but hey, a bad movie is a bad movie. All in all, the film was just a waste of time. Perhaps fitting for my least-favourite holiday.
Best Scare: Zero scares, folks. I counted.
I'd Recommend It To: No one, frankly. But tyranist saw it on the big screen and I saw it on video, which really alters/diminishes the experience, which might explain our diverging opinions. Or not.
Posted: June 18, 2001