America's Got What?
by Michelangelo

Despite the promotions and overtures, "America's Got Talent" is really a singing contest with a variety show facade laid over it. The show exists for one reason and showcasing divers talented performers is not it. The show exists solely for the network's version of entertainment alchemy: turning ratings into money. Musical acts are the show's golden goose and no interloper of a variety act is going to be given a real chance of knocking the money bird off its perch.

Certainly, there are extremely talented singers and bands in a wide variety of musical genres. Aren't there already several contests open only to musicians? Is it really a variety show if half the acts are technically from the same discipline?

But the word "Talent" in the title leaves it open. The talent angle is required so that the show can be marketed as something besides "America's Got Another Idol Rip-off" even though in this case the show's producers are cannibalizing themselves. The variety acts are needed for a variety of additional reasons besides truth in labeling. First, bizarre acts--or at least bizarre people--are the show's version of a car wreck. You can't help but watch from sheer morbid curiosity. And if you tune in next week you can watch the same driver crash yet another vehicle. Secondly, its gives the producers a pool of straw men to be set up and later knocked down. Because the interpretation of "talent" is wildly subjective the judges are allowed to disagree (if not actually instructed to disagree) about whether an act has merit or not. One judge says she was entertained and another says he thinks it's rubbish. The viewers at home scream at their television sets wondering how anyone on the planet could possibly confuse what just transpired with anything other than a plea for psychiatric help. The controversy leads to better ratings. Of course, the act is voted off by the judges before endangering any of the "real" contenders. Perversely, acts that were praised early on are sometimes given the ax just as they start to show some improvement.

Magic acts provide the added possibility of failure to be perfect. If an act makes a mistake, has a bad rehearsal, even exposes an illusion--well then, that's really a shame. Let's not forget to show everybody. If "reality shows" like this one will throw their own judges/hosts/celebrities under the ratings bus when a problem occurs, don't expect any respect for mere performers. If they have to (and they have) a network will manufacture controversy through editing, omitting, sabotaging, and staging to produce the angle they think will garner the most attention for the show.

When its time for the magic act to leave, it will leave. Most of the magic acts do pretty well in the voting. Nathan Burton, for example, was brought back during the first season literally by popular demand and given a second chance at the championship. The second chance voting seemed to be missing from the show last year. And last year, when both Kevin James and Anthony Reed were competing, the judges were shown arguing behind-the-scenes and saying that they didn't want to have more than one magic act in the next round. Why not? There was more than one singing act. Sure enough, Reed was axed after performing his undeniably impressive water metamorphosis.

Last year's winner came from a pool of ten finalists. Eight of the ten were musical acts. The champion was Terry Fator. When he started doing well in the voting it must have seemed to the producers like something sent from heaven. After season one ended with the prize given to a straight-up musical act, here was a ventriloquist and impressionist who could be given a shot at the finals. An act that featured something different. Not to take anything away from Fator because he is absolutely a gifted performer; however, he's first and foremost a singer with a hugely amazing range. Instead of holding a microphone in his hand, he holds a turtle. Instead of covering Elvis or Marvin Gaye solo, he sings a Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole duet with a puppet. It's great. But it felt a bit like the show's producers cheated. Another musical act won. The odds were set up for it.

Television--especially network television--has done a very good job of teaching us not to think. With music, you don't have to think. Instead, you feel it. You know if you like it or not when it has a good beat and you can dance to it. But it isn't challenging. It's easy. And, if you're born with a little aptitude for it, it's also easy to learn. On a personal note, I've done a lot of community theater. I mention my experience only because I know what it takes to learn a song and perform it well enough to pass for entertainment. I can sing the solo, do the romantic lead (well, a middle-aged one anymore), or provide the comic relief. I can learn a new song and be ready to perform it in a matter of days. Preparing for a new trick and adding it to my magic show? A much, much, much more lengthy, difficult and involved process.

For a singer to equal a world-class illusionist talent-for-talent, he would have to: first, write all of his own songs. Second, he would have to play the songs himself with perhaps the assistance of one or two other people. Third, he would have to actually invent and build a different musical instrument for each and every song he sang. If the singer did this, he would be the musical equivalent of Kevin James.

The final reason magic won't win is because magic is forever, perhaps irretrievably, located in Nicheville. It's great as a three-to-five minute attention grabber. But there are limited opportunities to cash in on the magic champion's post-victory career. That's just the way of things. Musical acts spawn CD sales, music videos, royalties from radio play, iTunes purchases, tours, and appearances on other music-related programs. The network gets a piece of everything. After the magic act is finished, what's left to sell that a million people will want to buy?

Resignedly, we'll be watching season three. There will be magic. There will be music. There will be variety, at least in the early rounds. Ultimately, however, the jugglers and animal acts and circus stars and even the magicians will be well-exploited, used up and tossed aside by the time round one of the finals gets going. America's got talent, it's true, in a thousand different ways but the network's got talent only for greed.

Michelangelo