Rish Outfield's reviews
Over the years, I had heard nothing but bad things about Deadly Friend, even from Wes Craven himself. So why did I rent it? Two simple words, my friends: Toad Licking.
Seriously, though, the two words would be Kristy and Swanson. For some odd reason, I think she's amazingly hot. Call me crazy, but it's something I've never really gotten over.
So, teenage genius Paul moves into a new town with his mom and amazingly advanced pet robot BB. The robot can think, talk, break the law, and defend Paul from bullies. Well, he makes two new friends, a neighbourhood kid and the amazingly hot girl next door, Samantha. She has a drunkard father who abuses her whenever the script calls for it, and when he goes too far and kills her, Paul gets an idea. You see, his robot BB was also (conveniently) just "killed," and Paul steals Samantha's body and implants BB's computer brain into her brain, bringing her back to life. Hooray! He hides her in his garage and later in his attic, and they all live happily ever after. . .except now, she's a killing machine. Ahh, young love.
For years, I've been making fun of Craven's The People Under the Stairs. Now I realize I owe that movie an apology. It is truly a laudable work of art compared to this. Look folks, I understand that we live in a politically correct world today, but I'm going to use a word here to describe this film (and I'll use it severally), a word from my childhood. I mean no offense to the Bracken Manions of the world, okay? It's just that there is no word that is more appropriate than the one I'm about to use.
Sorry, but it was gay. Kristy Swanson or not, this was a stinker. This was an Afterschool Special with a bit of gore thrown in. My notes are filled with phrases like "Really stupid. REALLY stupid," and of course, the g-word. First of all, within five minutes, I was afraid this was going to be stupid. There was an awfully dumb moment right at the beginning, and it went downhill from there. The basic premise was just ludicrous crap--come on. Very laughable. I found the boy genius irritating. My best friend is a genius, but I've always had a problem relating to them and liking them.
Ohhhhh, Kristy Swanson. She hardly spoke, looking like Elsa Lancaster if possessed by Jodie Foster in Nell. Good training for her role as the Mannequin in Mannequin 2: On the Move, I suppose (that was a superior film). With her fingers splayed like claws, it made me feel more embarrassed than scared. When she said "BB" in that sub-moronic voice, I wanted to die, I really did.
And BB. . .the dime-store Number 5. The robot in Spacecamp was as original as R2-D2 compared to this thing. The robot was so GAY. The robot's digitized POV got real annoying. He had the same voice as Stripe on Gremlins, only less cool. Charles Fleischer was actually the robot's stupid voice.
On the positive side, I read a couple of other reviews of this movie and was laughing so hard I choked. Also, Anne Ramsey played a major part, and I've always really liked her. She also figures into what everyone considers the most memorable part of the movie. The murder by basketball was indescribably stupid, but it was funny. It featured Freddy-like dream sequences, but they were actually quite lame. The ending sucked so much. It was similar to the also-gay ending of the original Elm Street, but less consistent with the rest of the film.
I shouldn't have rented it, it was one of the gayest, stupidest flicks EVER. I really have no words for how bad this movie was. If I was a praying man, I'd be begging my Maker to rob me of these memories, even if it took a car accident.
I'd Recommend It To: Oh, see it, please see it. Please!